Register for the Homegrown Generation Family Expo? Get instant, lifetime access to over 30 conference sessions like this for just $20 when you register here. Not ready to register? Check out a free preview (over 9 hours of content) here.
Let’s pretend that Mary and Martha decide to homeschool. Following their character, Martha would probably have all her plans in place (and be frustrated), and Mary would probably be at the feet of Jesus (and way behind schedule.) We all have a little of Mary and Martha is us, but this workshop is designed to encourage Mary’s who love the Lord and their children, but need help and structure to successfully homeschool! The presenter of this workshop is a self-proclaimed Mary (Linda Lacour Hobar, author of The Mystery of History) who managed to homeschool for 17 years, and still likes to talk about it. Join Linda for this candid conversation and take a quiz to determine if you’re a Martha or a Mary!
Claim your free gift from Linda Lacour Hobar and The Mystery of History, “When Bible History and World History Meet Face-To-Face”.
USE COUPON CODE: schoolhouserocked
Automated Transcript (spelling and grammar errors are guaranteed!)
Yvette Hampton: Hey everyone, welcome back. I am here with Linda Lacour Hobar who’s one of my favorite people. Hi Linda. Hey, good to see you. Hello. It is so good to see you. Many will recognize your name and some might go, I know that name, but where do I know that name from? And Linda is the face and the hand behind the mystery of history, which is a four volume history curriculum. And it’s amazing. Our family has it. We use it and we love it. We have the audio version of it. And so they get to listen to your fun voice. But welcome, because we’re not here actually to talk about history. We’re here to talk about some characters in the Bible. So welcome. Welcome to the homegrown generation family expel Linda. Yes. Thank you. Yes. And welcome to those of you who are watching right now.
Yvette Hampton: I do want to let you guys know, cause I know there’s been some questions about the contest giveaways. We’ve got a lot of really exciting giveaways. And so there are some new ways that you can enter. So if you’re on Facebook, you can go to the homegrown generation live page that you’re watching this on and look for the post there on how you can enter the contest. And if you’re not on Facebook, you can actually enter through the website. So just go to the website, make sure you’re logged in, look under conference, and you’ll see how you can enter to win. All sorts of exciting prices. But we’re not here to talk about that either. We are here to talk about Mary and Martha, which is so exciting. But first Linda, tell us a little bit about you and your family.
Linda Lacour Hobar: Sure, sure. Well, I guess you could define us as one of those pioneering homeschool families because he, that we started as far back as 1989. Oh goodness. Like the late eighties. Honestly that was before there was Google, if you can even imagine. So I have three grown children now. We homeschooled 17 years and I have two grandkids. Can I tell a fun, quick story on the grandchildren? So the oldest grandchild was born right here in our home. It was a, a planned home birth with a midwife, but baby number two, the other grandchild, well, let’s just say the midwife didn’t quite make it, so I had the opportunity to deliver her. That’s our Lily. So most
Yvette Hampton: Beautiful and terrifying experience of my life. They’re there now. We can all relax. So now we can call you Dr. Linda Lacour Hobar, right. I think you should put that name at the end. You should be an MD. I earned a new skillset. You wear many, many hats, including delivering babies. It’s an exciting thing apparently. Yeah. I do want your listeners to know though that I certainly do not come at this topic of Mary and Martha as any kind of an expert. I mean, none of us have got gotten to meet these two, these two new Testament ladies. Really, you know, my skill set is world history, but I did homeschool for 17 years and survived it. And really, I come here today in humility because this is really what I learned about myself to help me understand my weaknesses. So I come here to talk about my weaknesses, not my strengths. Well, I might disagree with you a little bit on that, but we’ll continue to talk about the subject. So yes. All right.
Yvette Hampton: Where are you going to say something? Well I was just going to ask if you would pray for our attendees cause I do want this to be such an encouraging, Oh, I would be honored to do that. Absolutely. Thanks. Sure. Heavenly father, we are so grateful for already a fantastic day of encouragement and we are most grateful for your word. Thank you God that you do not put your word in front of us. Just so we can listen to a bunch of fun stories are hard stories, but because you have things to teach us, Lord, I pray that you would open our hearts to the things that you want us to learn, that we would glean your wisdom and your understanding and that we would just have a better understanding of ourselves after today’s session with Linda and God. I just pray that you would speak through Linda, that you would give her the words to say and that everything that’s said and everything that’s heard would be glorifying to you.
Yvette Hampton: We commit the rest of our day to you. We thank you Lord for our families and just for those who have gone before us and paved the way and who continue to bring encouragement to us in your precious name. Amen. Amen. Thank you. Yes. Yes. So I’m super excited to do this with you. You and I have talked about this Mary and Martha thing and the first time I heard you talk about it was actually I didn’t hear your session, but we were at a homeschool convention together maybe a year ago. I can’t remember. It was that teach them diligently and somehow we got on the topic and you said why I do this session on Mary and Martha. And I was like, that sounds really intriguing. And so I’m excited to talk to you about this because I let, let’s talk about this whole story of Mary and Martha and how do, how we can identify who we are and maybe even who our kids are. Yes. As a matter of fact, what might be fun is right now, if, if your listeners might pop into the comment box whether or not they think they’re a Mary or a Martha, and we’ll see at the end because I do have a quiz, but maybe your cohost can kind of be tabulating that as we go. Let’s just see who tuned in today. If it was Mary or Martha or a Lazarus
Linda Lacour Hobar: Or two, can you see the comments? Linda, are you able to see them? No, I cannot. But if you click on comments, you may be able to see them. You should see that button up at the top that says comments, I think. Oh, I do see him. Yeah, I would see it when a whole new thing. Okay, cool. So yeah, so let’s, let’s, let’s talk about this. Let’s figure out this Mary and Martha thing. Sure. Well, the first thing I honestly need to do is go to the scripture. Let’s find the stories about them. So I’ve got my glasses on so I can read it to you. So I get to be narrator for a minute. But if you didn’t know, we have two, a couple of major stories of these sisters out of the new Testament. The first is in Luke chapter 10, verses 38 and following, and this is the classic story that most people know.
Linda Lacour Hobar: This is the one that pastors speak on when they, when they preach. And so it goes like this as it happened. He, Jesus entered a certain village and a certain woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. So right there we know that Martha has the gift of hospitality. And then she called her sister Mary, who also sat at Jesus’s feet. By the way, I have the word feet circled in my notes because most of the time we see Mary, she’s going to be literally at Jesus’s feet. All right? So she was there to hear his word. Now Martha was distracted with much serving and she approached him and said, Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me. So she’s kind of fussing, isn’t she? And Jesus answered and said to her, Martha, Martha, and of course he uses her name twice, which I guess is his way of like the middle name.
Linda Lacour Hobar: He says, “You are worried and troubled about many things, but one thing is needed and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” So Jesus goes to bat and defends Mary even as she sits at his feet in worship. Now the next story about the sisters is where we get a little bit more, I think about their personality because we’re going to see them respond to a crisis in two very different ways. Similar but different. So bear with me. This is from John chapter 11 and this is the famous story of Lazarus, their brother who is deathly ill. So the sisters like first of all, they call for Jesus because like they realized he might could make a difference, right? And there’s a line in first five that says, now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So let’s just clear the air.
Linda Lacour Hobar: He loved all three of them. He definitely loves Martha. It’s not a an either or thing, but get this. So remember they’ve called to him because of this crisis. So when he heard that he was sick, he stayed two more days in a place where he was. Well, think about that for just a minute. But Jesus allows this crisis, a life or death crisis because he has a better plan. Oh, I think that’s so comforting that we need to realize sometimes Jesus really does allow our crises for a much bigger, better plan. Okay, so now what’s kind of cute is that we had these two different responses that follow in John chapter 11 so let’s look at Martha first. This is how she, because what’s happened is Jesus delays his trip, he allows Lazarus to die. And now let’s see what happens. So Martha, as soon as she heard that Jesus was coming, cause he does show up, she went and met him, but Mary was sitting in the house.
Linda Lacour Hobar: So I picture Martha. I mean again, she’s taken it upon herself to go out there. Now Martha says to Jesus, Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now, I know that whatever you ask of God, God will give you. So again, she’s, she’s kind of wagging her finger at him and at the same time making an appeal, a heartfelt appeal. Now Jesus goes on. And what’s very interesting is his response to her is not one of pity or weeping, but he gives her a theology lesson. This is the section of the Bible where Jesus will say to Martha, I am the resurrection and the life. I don’t know, bed if you’re old enough to remember an old camp song that would thing that like I am the resurrection and I shouldn’t have even tried to do that. I’ll regret it later when I hear that.
Linda Lacour Hobar: But anyway it was a great old camp song. So anyway and then, and then Martha responds and what is so cool is that we have a first, we have the testimony of a first century Christian woman who will say, yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Christ, the son of God who has to come into the world. And she said this, not even knowing Lazarus is going to be raised from the dead and not knowing that Jesus is going to be raised from the dead, but she believes. So. We do clearly see that Martha is a woman of great faith, which I deeply admire. But let’s shift gears to marry what happens in the next part of this story. Well first of all, Martha goes over and secretly called Mary, her sister saying the teacher has come in and is calling for you.
Linda Lacour Hobar: We really don’t know why Martha did this in secret. All I can imagine is that Mary, cause I’m assuming she’s far more emotional woman cause she’s always at Jesus’s feet. I’m wondering if Martha’s afraid that Mary’s is going to cause a scene. You know that she’s such an emotional woman that she likes secretly says the masters calling you or maybe she’s a little jealous because again, Jesus personally reaches out to Mary, he has calling for her, which just greatly moves me. If you ever wonder if Jesus sees your weeping, he does. I mean we know that in this story. But anyway, here’s another interesting part. So then the Jews who were with her, referring to Mary in the house and comforting her, and when they saw Mary, they Rose up quickly and went out with her. Mary has a support group. Do you see that Martha maybe doesn’t need one or does it have one that day she marked is out there on her own to meet Jesus on the road, but Mary has a support group.
Linda Lacour Hobar: I think that says something. Maybe Mary’s a little bit more vulnerable. Maybe she’s more transparent, but anyway, then we have Mary. I’m going to Jesus or him coming to her. When Mary came where Jesus was and saw him, she fell down at his feet. Second time we’ve seen this, she’s at his feet again and she says, Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. Interesting. She and Martha used the exact same words. Jesus, if you had been her brother would not have died, but they say it was such a different posture, don’t they Mark this kind of fussing and marries at his feet weeping. Now I think you know what happens after that. Jesus looks at the crowd and the Bible says, shortest, shortest one of the shortest verses in the whole Bible. Jesus wept. Now Jesus is not crying because Lazarus is dead.
Linda Lacour Hobar: He knows he’s about to raise one of his best friends from the dead. He is weeping because he is having a, you know, he’s, he’s Jesus, God, man, God, God. And he, he is having a moment here of emotion and he’s weeping for the people. He feels them once again, if you ever wonder if he feels your tears, apparently he does. Yeah. All right. So anyway, and then Jesus says, tells them to go and take away the stone, which is a beautiful foreshadowing of his own death and resurrection. But here’s something funny. So you know what Martha does right before Jesus rolls away the stone. She’s being such a Martha here and I just love her for this. Martha stops to give them a little lecture about the stench. It’s like, you know, Lord, by this time there is a stint, she’s been dead for days.
Linda Lacour Hobar: Thank you, Martha for letting Jesus know that this body might have an odor or this could be embarrassing. I mean, you know, and then we don’t hear a peep out of her after that. But anyway, Jesus goes ahead and, and he raises Lazarus, Lazarus, come forth. And here’s more to this story. Many of the Jews who had come to Mary and had seen the things Jesus did, believed him in him. So for just a second, realize Mary May be, didn’t have that same theology lesson from Jesus. Maybe Mary didn’t have that same kind of faith. Maybe it wasn’t a book faith, but she has a powerful witness that influences others. Right? Right. So anyway, there’s a little bit more to the story. So in John 12, we hear that six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany where Lazarus was, who had been dead. Can you imagine the crowd?
Linda Lacour Hobar: I mean, this is a man resurrected from the dead. Anyway there they made him a supper and listen to this and Martha served true story. That is John 12 two Martha’s serving. So sorta kind of like maybe she didn’t learn anything or maybe she just can’t not be a Martha. She’s still serving. And where are we going to find Mary? This is a beautiful passage. Then Mary took a pound of very costly oil of spike Nard anointed the feet of Jesus. Where is she again? She’s at his fate and she wiped his feet with her hair and the house was filled with the fragrance of the oil. There’s so much packed into that. For one, I’m thinking this is such a spontaneous act of worship that it’s just beautiful. And then I’m wondering like, why doesn’t she have a cloth? Why does she have to use her hair?
Linda Lacour Hobar: Is it so spontaneous that she just wasn’t even prepared? Also, you know, so many use essential oils. So I think we can all imagine the aroma and I’m thinking if she wiped his feet with her hair and this oil, that when she went to bed that night, she still smelled it. It had to have lingered for a long time. So anyway, that’s just beautiful. We’re going to come back to a little bit more of that now. I think you know that Judas Iscariot bust out or in the other disciples like, Hey, this could have been sold because apparently this was a years worth of a salary of oil. The average median income I think in America is $40,000 a year. So we’re talking about a $40,000 bottle of perfume. And you know what Jesus said, let her alone. He defended her extravagant act of worship, that that was spontaneous, planned or not.
Linda Lacour Hobar: And in Mark, we get a little P S and then I’m done reading to you, but Mark 14 three through nine says, this is Jesus speaking, where he says, wherever this gospel is preached in the whole world, what this woman has done will also be told as a Memorial to her seldom if it settled them in the new Testament. Do we ever see the light shown on someone other than Jesus? But Jesus shines a little light on her, which again, she’s just, I think a broken repentance. A fragile woman who has found hope in life in Jesus Christ, and he’s like impressed. He loves her for that. So that’s the setting. I love it. It’s so interesting because when you put it all together, you can really see a picture of their personalities. I think so. I think so. So of course I have a little bit more to say on that.
Linda Lacour Hobar: You’re ready. I, a few years ago read a book by Anthony Gregorick, it’s called mine styles. He actually, he was the creator of a model called mind style. Then here’s how he would describe different personalities and we’re going to enter Mary and Martha into this. Okay. Which by the way, he gave us the mind part. I, I applied the Mary Martha part. So basically he would say that people tend to think in concrete terms or abstract. So concrete versus abstract, we’re probably all on a spectrum, but the concrete thinker sees things very black and white, right? Boom. Wrong. Yes and no. And that person thinks very easily of tangible things of measurable things. So think with me about schedules, time, money, chores, like putting out the dinner for Jesus. Now the abstract thinker in great contrast is the person that’s just all wishy washy. It’s our free fall thinker.
Linda Lacour Hobar: It’s a daydreamer, and that person is far more caught up in the intangible, the non measurable. So think love, joy, beauty, peace, creativity. Now getting back to Greek, Gorky also says that people tend to process their thinking one of two ways, either sequentially, which is an order or randomly. So that kind of speaks for itself. But yes, the sequential person very naturally sees a be following an a and a two follows a one and everything’s kind of logical for them. It’s ordered right where the random person just doesn’t have that built in grid. All right? There’s no step one to begin with, much less a two. There may not be a B though. There’s an egg, not if C is like a little bit more enticing, you know? So that person is led by feelings. All right, so stay with me here. If you can lump that together.
Linda Lacour Hobar: Yes. So if you had a person who is both concrete and sequential, well you really have the thinker on your hands. If you lump together, the person who is abstract and random, God helped them probably have a feeler. So we’re generalizing here as thinkers and feelers. Again, we’re all a little bit, but you know there’s a spectrum. Sure. So now let’s go back to Martha. I can’t help but think and just sit duct from the scriptures that perhaps she’s both concrete in sequential. She’s a thinker, she’s task oriented, she’s the girl to get the job done. It’s very natural to her and because of her concrete ways. So Martha’s methodical. Her friends may call her a little bit of a control freak. She may not be the most flexible person and to stay in shape, I just have to throw this in here. I think she’s a woman that can run on that treadmill.
Linda Lacour Hobar: Maybe do the whole point system, you know, on food. And again, because why? She can put a task above a feeling. In fact, I would say that’s her, the higher calling, like getting the job done. That was pretty clear. The day she is serving Jesus. You know, my Martha friends always say, well somebody had to put the meal on the table anyway. She would be a servant, maybe even to a fault, at least according to Jesus, he did foster or her at her that one day for just not being able to let it go. Now I have to insert a personal story, eat that. I know this Martha character are too well not because I am one I’ve already expressed. I believe I’m a self proclaimed Mary. I think it’s in the note. I can’t even pretend, but my mother is just a classic Martha through and through.
Linda Lacour Hobar: She kept an immaculate home, a well stocked pantry. One of my sisters is a rock solid. Martha. We would nickname her Martha Stewart cause she’s that lady, you know, that can really pull it together for the party and everything. My first born I would say has a Martha personality because she literally started making her own lesson plan like in fifth grade because I’m not making lesson plans. I wrote down what we did after we did it, which by the way, that’s not lesson planning, you know, work for me. So anyway, this Martha, I’ll also, I kind of married Martha in male form as far as, you know, he runs a budget and a tight ship. So he’s my, my figures person. I accused him of having like a white board in his head where he can see numbers. I don’t have that whiteboard.
Linda Lacour Hobar: So anyway my problem with that is that my whole life, I would say I’ve kind of been surrounded by kind of your Martha figures. They’re very capable people, bare responsible, very efficient and truth be told, I just cannot measure up to them, not by their standards. So let’s kind of go back to my mother for a moment. Who, by the way, she’s a wonderful person, but as a devout Martha, what this meant, again, if she can put a task above a relationship, then rather than ride bikes right before dinner, when the sun is setting, she’s going to have dinner on the table on time with a meat and a starch and a vegetable. I mean, you know, always and rather than maybe read out loud to us in an unmade bed she’s going to make the bit all right and skip the reading.
Linda Lacour Hobar: Or rather than keep a journal, which heaven forbid might expose feelings, you know, she cleaned the house by herself as a gift to us. So I was very cared for. I was very luck by what she did for me. Martha enjoys doing so are you processing all this? I’m, I’m tracking with you. Yes. I love, I love the idea of a Martha, but I am definitely not well I can be a Martha in some ways, but I’m definitely, I tend more towards Mary. So can we talk about Mary? Yes. Let’s turn to her will. By my definition, I have already revealed that she to me is your abstract random personality type. If we, again, you know, we’re just kinda deriving what we can from this scripture, but think of this being a high feelings person, her feelings, nature. It also means that this poor woman is really unprepared for just about everything in life.
Linda Lacour Hobar: So her friends and family may label her flighty because she is I would say she’s more the yoga whole foods type. Then she is the treadmill. Right. Cause she has to be out of the box and she may even be a little flower child, you know, if the seventies that just fits her. I have to tell you real quick if just this last Tuesday, my husband, I went to see the beach boys in concert and it was, it was my Christmas present to him. Where are these tickets? And I cried for two and a half hours through the beach as it took me back to high school. It was just so nostalgic. I also realize how old I am. Like some of your listeners don’t maybe even know beach boys. But anyway, the lead singer is 78 and so I was just like wow.
Linda Lacour Hobar: I know. I know. But yeah, it took me back cause I am that girl from the 70s so yeah, it fits. But anyway, let’s go back to Mary. So yet she can put feelings above a task. In fact, Mary considers that the higher calling, those feelings are actually more important to a Mary. So she is passionate to a fault in modern life. I suspect that drama follows her more than it does Martha because she doesn’t have good boundaries. I know she runs late because she’s not a planner. Do you know some of your ladies listening now are missing this live if they’re married, but they’re going to catch it on the Reaper? That’s why we have replays.
Linda Lacour Hobar: Couldn’t get here on time. And I understand that. I all, when I do this live, I always have a few. Mary’s like creeping the room late and I, yeah, it’s cute. But truthfully, Mary is probably not the most responsible woman because her feelings will get in the way of tasks. Now remember my mother, who I said really loved us by what she did for us. Well, unfortunately, in contrast, I don’t naturally have a servant mentality. Not because I don’t love people. No. I mean, I could barely take care of myself, much less take care of other people. It’s kind of nice. Ron and I are empty nesters now and it’s amazing how much easier it is for me to live life just two of us because when there was five of us, I mean it was just hard for me. But the bottom line is that I don’t love people by what I do for them particularly, but how I spend time with them.
Linda Lacour Hobar: This is also a love language. So I teach, I play, I ride bikes at sunset. When the weather calls, I write, I E. Invest emotionally into people by council and by prayer. And if it’s not obvious, that meant I was a soft day mom. So yes, parenting was really hard for me. You add homeschooling to that, that was a tremendous challenge for me personally. Not that we weren’t successful, I’d say we were, but it was hard at times. But Mary, you can do this if I can do it. So in closing this description of Mary, I do have to direct you to a couple of theories. Let’s go back to her in that perfume, that oil. Oh, okay. So one theory is that maybe she’s at Jesus’s feet extravagantly worshiping him. Because maybe by the way I’ve just described her, maybe she’s a little bit of a bad girl.
Linda Lacour Hobar: Maybe she has struggled with boundaries. Maybe she’s made some poor decisions and wandered down a path somewhere and she has a lot to repent for. You know, the, the more we’ve done to disgrace our Lord, the more repentant we are and you know, at his feed and gratefulness. So, so maybe that big heart got orange, have some trouble. We don’t know for sure, but there is another theory. Okay. There’s another theory. Some have suggested that perhaps Mary when pouring out that expensive oil, what if she was offering to Jesus her one and only dowry the one thing she may have saved for perhaps a future husband, but she gave it up maybe at one time. She even thought Jesus just might be her earthly husband. Maybe she loved him so much before she realized and understood that he would be a heavenly groom. Isn’t that a sweet theory that she just like gave it up maybe any chance for a heavenly husband and just put that down.
Linda Lacour Hobar: Re you know, anointed him with it to say I’m all in. Yeah. You’re, you’re my man for life ever. I don’t know. It’s just a, we don’t know for sure, but what theories either are, I think I relate better to the one where maybe she was just a sinner. Yeah. But the other one was also very sweet. Yeah. It’s so fun. It’s going to be so interesting when we get to heaven and everything becomes so crystal clear to us and we’re going to be like, Oh, that’s what Mary meant when she did that. And it’s so much fun watching all of these comments pop up and all the Marys and the Marthas in the in betweens. So how, how do in homeschooling, how do we tie this all together as homeschool moms figure out which are you going to do? Are you going to do a test with us?
Linda Lacour Hobar: Oh yes. Yes. Okay. So I’ll, I’ll very quickly, let’s try to apply some of what we just talked about to homeschooling. That’s why we’re one reason why we’re all gathered here. So I would picture Martha as a homeschool mom. Okay. This is the lady, y’all know her. She’s got color coded lesson plan. She’s a field trip organizer or maybe the debate team leader. I would say second by method of education. She may be the one who follows the classical model of education cause I think we all know it’s one of the most hard or difficult. I mean it certainly takes a lot of preparation. Number three, she can run that homeschool co-op very well and probably should. And I would suspect that her classroom is the one lined with file cabinets. She has a place for everything. And Mary on the other hand, if we drop her into a homeschool world, well I think I picked her a little bit more of a hot mess.
Linda Lacour Hobar: And this is a woman with no lesson plans. I told you I didn’t make lesson plans for my kids for the longest time. She runs late to field trips. She may follow an unschooling approach or perhaps an eclectic approach. And you know why she’s a eclectic Yvette? Because, you know, she buys all of it on impulse but then can’t part with any of it cause it’s so hard to sell. So anyway, and I don’t think you really want her in charge of your support group that you want are there to encourage people. And ironically I’ve started a support group at my church just because I love these ladies so much. But you know I wait until two weeks before the meeting to announce what we’re doing. And last I think Mary is the one, I picture her walls lined with our work of her students and it’s just taped.
Linda Lacour Hobar: You know, she thinks one day I’m going to hang all those little frames but it’s not going to happen. So I have one tip and that is don’t hang it with one piece of tape because then the, the top corners are going to curl cause it’s going to hang that long. You’ll never get rid of it. You’re sentimental. So at least put two pieces of tape up and you’re in better shape. Yes. So I don’t want to insert one more thing about Mary, just less we depict her off completely, but I don’t think Mary’s necessarily a lazy woman. That’s not why she struggles. It might look that way to an outsider and her house may or may not be a disaster. Like I’ve actually kind of wondered this about myself. Like if I am such a Mary, which I think I am, then how come I do have sort of a tidy home that you’ve been to my home.
Linda Lacour Hobar: You’ve seen I’ve got my coordinating this and that. I mean it’s not a complete disaster. I think I figured it out. Here’s what it is. I think as a Mary, I so highly value beauty, that’s an abstract thing. God is the source of all beauty. That it’s like that is what drives me to pick up the pillow off the floor that matches the throw or just to pick up the toys so that I can see they’re pretty coffee table. So my dreamy visual side actually helps my homestay tidy, not my to do list. Right. And just do not open the drawers or the closets because they, that’s where the disaster lies. Cause I can’t see it. Yes. I, I again, I’m listening to all the, all the descriptions and I feel like, ah, I’m so much of a Mary, but there’s that Martha and me too.
Linda Lacour Hobar: And that’s one of the things for me as well is that I feel like, well, I, I like things tidy. But then when it comes to scheduling, you know, I, and let me just say, I have done the color coded schedule. I am really good at that and I haven’t used it ever. So I can make the color coded schedule, I can make it look pretty and then I cannot make it actually work for me. So I’m like striving to be the Martha, but really I’m, I’m more of a Mary for sure. So okay, so how can we figure out, all right, I’m ready to give you a test. Okay. So ladies, here’s what we’re going to do on paper. Yes. If you’d grab a little piece of paper and a pen, and this is funny, again, when I do this live, I usually the Mary has to borrow some of that from the Martha sitting next to her grab.
Linda Lacour Hobar: Because what we’re going to do is I’m going to, I’m going to give you 20 questions and so you can either number your page very quickly, one to 20 or just number as we go. But I’m going gonna ask you a question and tell you to either give yourself a minus one, a zero or a plus one on whether or not it describes you. And I’ll tell you, blah, blah, blah. Give yourself a minus one or blah, blah, blah. Give yourself a plus one. And if neither applies, just give yourself a zero. And then at the end we have a scoring. And just to let you know this, this test really and truly comes from me on one end of the spectrum, my mother on the other. So I took a real live Mary and Martha and this is what we have. Okay. So number one. For example, if more often than not, your library books are overdue, then give your cell phone minus one. Mary has a very hard time getting those books back to the library. I just consider it a handling fee. I mean, they’re nice. My mom literally just paid like $16 in library.
Linda Lacour Hobar: That is funny. Okay. Number two, if you have ever menu planned for a month or have several meals in the freezer, then you get a plus one that is very much a M and as a Martha thing to have advance. Now, I mean you plan weekly, but it’s do we, do we do a zero if I’ve never done that before? Yes. Yes. Okay. If you’ve not done it, you get a zero. Okay? If you have done that, okay, you get a plus one. Okay. All right. Number three. If your family assumes that you’ll run late or you were late to this workshop or you, you’re watching it recorded cause you couldn’t make it live, then give yourself a minus one. That’s a Mary attribute. So Mary gets the minuses. Martha gets the pluses, okay? Number four. If your shirts or shoes are organized by color, give yourself a plus one.
Linda Lacour Hobar: That’s my mother. Everything’s colored coded. Okay. Okay. Number five. If you’re a curriculum junkie, because it’s so hard to sell the old stuff, give yourself a minus one. You know how hard it is to get those ISBNs on the sales thing. Okay. Number six and tell me if I’m going too fast. No, no, you’re not going to hire me, but I just want to clarify. I’m not supposed to be like if you’re saying you’re a minus one, I’m not supposed to put plus one. If I’m on the other side, I just put zero. Right, right, right. Okay, so a minus one if it describes you as zero, that doesn’t, or plus when it describes you in a zero if it doesn’t. Okay. Gotcha. Okay. [inaudible] negative two right now, just so you know. Okay. You’re right there with me. Continue on. Yes. I was a minus 10 my mother’s a plus 10 okay, so let’s see.
Linda Lacour Hobar: I think I’m on number six. If you’re an extreme coupon her or at least close to it, you get a plus one. If you can do the coupon thing, I just don’t understand why they want me to cut out little pieces of paper and reward me for that. Like I just throw them away for that. I just throw them away. I’m horrible on that. I do just look for sales though, and then I’ll buy three of them. Okay. Number seven, if your to do list is on the back of your hand or an envelope or receipt, you get a minus one. By the way, I seem to notice that Martha’s never write on themselves, but Mary, a lot of Mary’s I know, or, okay. Maybe myself. I write on myself a lot as a little note in Sharpie, so I don’t wash it off. Martha never does that.
Linda Lacour Hobar: Okay. Number eight, if you cry spontaneously to love songs on the radio or hymns at church, give yourself a minus one. I just confessed that cried through a beach boys concert. I was just showing us the hell chick. Oh my goodness. When I asked my mom that question, she’s like cry through him and she’s not a weeper. She likes the old hens but she’s not going to cry about them. Okay. Number nine, if you buy in bulk but work out of labeled containers that are just the right size for your cabinets or cupboards. Well that’s I plus one that is a Martha attributes. By the way, yesterday I went to, by chance I opened up the container store in my neighborhood. Oh fine. So I went and I was absolutely overwhelmed. I’m like, this is a Martha’s dream. There’s little containers for everything. My [inaudible] having a really good job cause those things are expensive.
Linda Lacour Hobar: I a couple of things for the freezer. But anyway. Okay. Number 10 if you often start school in your pajamas or do family read alouds from the bed, which is unmade, you get a minus one. There’s just nothing like Charlotte’s web from the sheet. That’s what I think. Number 11, if you organize small parties or meetings on an Excel spreadsheet, you get a plus one Excel spreadsheets there for Martha. And you know I have to work in them a lot. Oh, they just make me crazy. Don’t like anything in a box. Okay. Ready? Yup. Number 12 if you’ve saved the baby teeth up your children, give yourself a minus one. I love to ask this question. Most women are like, well, a lot have saved them. I knew exactly where my kids baby teeth are, but you know why even I look at it this way, like that is a badge of honor.
Linda Lacour Hobar: We should make jewelry out of them. I mean you wouldn’t have, maybe you cut those teeth in the middle of the night. I know you did. Of course I’m going to save them. I think the last time we talked about this, I remember telling you that I’d saved my pregnancy tests that count. Get a minus one for that and then we talked about the potential smell of that for all time. That’s right. Yeah. Well they didn’t even make those years. I waited for the, for the positive pregnancy tests, so in all fairness it was kind of like a trophy. There you go. They didn’t have home pregnancy test back when I had my babies. That’s how old I am. So okay, number 13, we got to move along. If you had a shopping list for any recent homeschool convention before you arrived, give yourself a plus one. Or in this context, let’s just say if you had looked at the schedule and you knew exactly who you’re going to listen to each day that counts.
Linda Lacour Hobar: You get a plus one for being organized for this week. I just kept at the time to make sure I wasn’t late. Number 14, if you pray often for God’s mercy because of mistakes you’ve made, then you get a minus one. Mary, praise for God’s mercy a lot. Remember, she’s a woman that may struggle with boundaries and discernment, so there’s a lot of mistakes. I like to go to flower gardens when I have really disappointed myself for the Lord because I feel like flowers are just his beautiful little landscape and I don’t know God and I have this thing about flowers, so I’ll go alone to places to pray when I need his mercy. I’m number 15 this is just on a lighter note. If you set up the coffee pot or the tea pot before you go to bed at night, you’d get a plus one.
Linda Lacour Hobar: This is just something that my mom always says to me, like when I go visit, she’ll say, Hey honey, do you want to like prepare the coffee before you go to bed? Because she literally sets up her teapot before bed, puts out the tea cup and the tea bag and I’m like, why would I want to do today? What I can do tomorrow? It’s like eat, drink and be Merry. Now they’re, no, I don’t ever set that up the night before, but apparently a lot of people do. It’s funny. Oh, okay. That’s a planning thing. Number 16 on the along those lines, if you unpack that same day that you get home from a trip, you get a plus one. I travel a lot as do you Yvette and never have I unpacked on the same day that I get home. No, Mike’s at there quite a few days.
Linda Lacour Hobar: I will unpack my hair products. However, I mean number 17, if one lunch this week was a half eaten granola bar that you found at the bottom of your purse, you get a minus one. You know why there’s a happy granola bar, the bottom of your purses cause you did help play in. You were out running your errands. It’s like, Oh I didn’t, you know, you’re not factoring those things cause scheduling isn’t your strength. So sometimes I have to happy and granola bars, the bottom of my personal two halves make a whole. So cause I forget that there’s one already in there. And number 18, if you usually offer your house guest, say hot breakfast, you get a plus one. I think that’s a Mark that thinks for a hot breakfast. Not all give my guests hot lunches and hot dinners. If you’ve been to my home bubbling back that you, but breakfast are kind of on your own, I’ll feed you like, okay.
Linda Lacour Hobar: Number 19, if you love spontaneous field trips that count for school, you get a minus one. You know what I’m talking about when you’re like, Oh look, there’s a a Digger next door. Let’s make that a field trip. You know the spontaneous build trips, that’s very much a Mary thing. Mary looks for that, right? Because we’re always learning. Again, it’s a little bit of an unschooling mindset in a healthy way. And last I just have to say, if you have a planner nearby, you get a plus one. I have not owned a planner since college. So all right. Now friends with all those minuses minus one zeros and plus ones, I want you to do the quick math. Okay? And then I’m going to have to do math. I know, do math in math now they’re just ones and zeros. Just one. You can do this. Yes. And you’re either going to, you’re going to get anything from a minus 10 to a plus 10 and by all means feel free to pop into the comments. What you just scored. Yes. I want to see what people are scoring on this.
Speaker 4: [Inaudible]
Linda Lacour Hobar: Maria did hers wrong cause she got a plus 17 maybe you were married, they can’t do math. I love that. Okay. So if you guys have gotten a number, kind of give me a thumbs up. Okay. I’m seeing a minus six a plus three. Okay. By the way, if you, if you score zero, you’re like the perfect balance. That’s like a good thing. My daughter in law scored a zero. You’re not a loser. You’re perfect. Okay, I see an a plus three. I see some minuses. So real quick, here’s, here’s how the final score would look as if you scored from ma from a minus 10 to a minus four. I’m pretty sure you’re a Mary based on these little silly things I put out there that are mine. Mary. Life as a homeschool mom. All right? If you scored a minus three to a plus three, well you’re really a Mary Martha mix.
Linda Lacour Hobar: You’re in a nice healthy zone. But I think if you’re a plus four to a plus 10, you’re probably a Martha Moore, right? In case you were in doubt. And it’s funny, I have women cry in my sessions that do this. Tesco. Sometimes they’ll say, you know, I always thought I was a Martha, but I just scored a Mary and they’re kind of relieved cause they’ve been conflicted and they didn’t know why. But maybe you have a lot of skills and people have always assumed you’re a Martha or type a when maybe you are, but you know, you’re churning on the insight or vice versa. Right. somebody who thought they were married might actually have scored a Martha and you’re far better off than you thought. So, okay. Now with that I don’t know eVet if the majority of people who tuned in today really are married, you know, the subtitle of this workshop is that it is a, a workshop for Mary’s only.
Linda Lacour Hobar: But I want to encourage all my Mary and Martha friends. I would like to continue to see some scores pop up. So y’all [inaudible]. But I do have some tips for those who truly do register on this scale as a Mary. I don’t know if Martha needs to hear the things that I would share and it might help her with a friend. But for a child or H exactly. As a matter of fact though, I was a Mary, I’d say three. All three of my children are far more of a Martha than I am and they all needed more structure out of me and that was hard. But that was part of finding balance in my life. So anyway I can though, like I said, let me get to my tips. So you’re ready? Do y’all need some encouragement marries or some tips? We do. I, I’m a, I’m a minus five so minus five. Okay. So you’re, you’re there, you’re there. That’s all there is to it.
Linda Lacour Hobar: And again, I think if I did it again, I’d be a minus 10 and I see it real quick to another one saying that their mom was a hundred percent Martha and they better understand each other. My mom and I have laughed and cried over this session. You know what sweet too is that over time, honestly my mom, the Martha has become more of a Mary because she’s 84 years old and she’ll say today, you know what I’ll do anything. Life is short and sweet and so she’s more daring. She’s like go of some of her more rigidness to enjoy what she has. And I would say though, I score a Mary, I’m probably more of a Martha now than I used to be out of the fact that I’m a a maturing and again there’s less than the house and stuff like that.
Linda Lacour Hobar: So we’re allowed to change them. But okay. So let me just very quickly give you a couple of tips. Number one, and these are tips for Mary’s. Yes, Mary are good ideas for Martha too. If I doubt I thought of anything that she hasn’t thought of any of that. So number one, I always hosted once a month. I had an inservice day. I borrowed the idea from the schools, but think about it. I would count it at school, but we called it an inservice day and it meant that we were going to set aside all academics and work just on our home. Why? Because my home means a lot to me as a feeler. And I also wanted to teach my kids more than academics. So this was kind of like home-ec and honestly my kids grew to hate probably our inservice days cause that meant we’d start on the closets and then it’s like we’ve got to finish, we’ve got to finish.
Linda Lacour Hobar: They’d be like, let us do algebra. But anyway, we did do kind of like home projects. So I recommended at least once a month. That’s what we did. Okay. Second you might want to post a lunch menu. That sounds so silly, but post a lunch menu in Sharpie on the fridge. And here’s why. By the time you’d get so lunch on a homeschool day, you’re tired. Your crew may still be rambunctious. But Mary drains because she emotionally has caught up in a lot. So hosting a lunch menu I think just helps take away some of the squabbling. And of course, large families don’t squabble over food. They’re just happy to be fed. But in a smaller family, you know, they seem to think we’re short order cooks and I just don’t have the emotional space to argue about lunch. So that’s one idea. Number three, I do recommend that you cut your students off like by to have some set hours, haven’t have a set time for when school is done.
Linda Lacour Hobar: Now they may still have work to do if they piddled around, but you yourself need to be excused. You may need a cutoff time so that they’re not using you all day long. For us it was too, mom was done, like I said, because after dinner I can’t go back to algebra. I can’t go back to geometry. I’m lucky to be there at all. At 10 o’clock on those subjects must live much less later. So I have a cutoff time. Number four, I do encourage women to careful with extended obligations. All the co ops and clubs as good as they are. Be careful saying yes to too much. Like recognize yourself as, listen, I’m a woman without great capacity. I’m a woman that doesn’t maybe juggle a schedule well so I can’t have everything lined up. You know, I can’t have too much in my schedule.
Linda Lacour Hobar: Put some cushion in your life some breathing room and do it with great joy. Not restriction, but just great joy. You know, as Americans we tend to have a, a feature in us of rugged individualism, but we’ve got to think about really what’s best for the whole family sometimes and be selective. So I’m saying, okay, number five, I do recommend that if you do keep lesson plans, keep them on dated, like just don’t have dates on the columns. I did eventually start making lesson plans because my kids needed it. I told you they needed more structure than what I wanted to offer them naturally. But the first lesson plans I made had dates nearly drove this crazy. So one day I got white out. This was a long time ago. I don’t know if that’s legal anymore. Anyway and I whited out the date and it just gave our family tracks to run on but not so rigid so I could stop and start our lesson plans at any given time.
Linda Lacour Hobar: Right. And you know, I’ve got the whole year to get our days done. Okay. Number six, you do need to have school rules. Obviously Mary’s not a strong rule person, but you may need to just make them as you go, you know, once they’re not toddlers anymore. And I have a whole list of some school rules that I made. I’ll list just a couple of funny ones. I need to watch our time. But again, these were just made up necessity like number three, no objects are to be tossed or thrown in the classroom. I had a boy, of course I needed that rule number 12 do not write on the teacher or the other students. I had to make that a rule because I am just covered in freckles and every one of my kids was sitting next to me and start doodling on my arm and making a constellation.
Linda Lacour Hobar: So I had to tell, don’t stop that. Here’s a good one. Number 14, no excessive hugging as a tactic for procrastination. You have one of those, Oh, let’s just go into hug mode to skip work. Number 17, no sleeping in class and the parentheses is especially the teacher. So that was written for me. I’m very sleepy a lot. We’ll talk about that in a second. But then to back up those rules, you know what I resorted to finding ’em 25 cents for broken rule. I hated doing that. But once, you know, I needed a way to just cut down on some of the nonsense. So I’ll read you a few of them. This’ll all make you feel better. So these are, you know, the mr history ladies kids day in the life. For example, I’m, Ashley got fined for being annoying for name calling. I got fined for being a mean mom.
Linda Lacour Hobar: Or you find yourself too? Oh yeah. Oh yeah, mom. Yeah, I got fine for a lot of unauthorized phone calls when you find, or did they find you? They find me. Oh yeah, they would point out some things. Oh, they’re so happy to, I mean, there’s so many things, but you know, and I’m, I don’t know that I ever self find. But anyway, Oh, so more throwing pennies, throwing scissors, throwing baby powders. So chaos. I’m making faces, moaning, throwing baseball cards. We have a lot of throwing in the house. Let’s see. Oh, I’m trying to get to the good ones. Messing with hair. Oh, here’s one cow got fined for interrupting Ben her. It’s a historical movie. Don’t mess with the historical movie. Then we got somebody being kicked in a private part. We have prompting Kyle to evil and being late for school and standing on their head and a massage.
Linda Lacour Hobar: So, you know, life, they’re kids and I loved him. And Oh, you know what, friends, I could go back for a day. I wouldn’t a second. My kids are now, let’s see if I can do this right. 34 30, the baby’s going to be 27 like tomorrow. Maybe. So you guys, I know it’s hard, especially for Mary. Put enjoy them. I miss some of that nonsense. If I could go back for a day to, okay, I need to finish all my list, no crying Mary. But yeah, make school rules, find them. Number seven, I think it’s important that when your authority, when you’re struggling with authority, redirect them to someone who maybe has a stronger personality than you. And my case it was their dad. He’s about six foot tall. I’m four 11. He’s got a much higher voice than me, so yeah, dad stepped in and I needed that.
Linda Lacour Hobar: Maybe you have a mean aunt or you know, whoever, but reinforcements for your weaknesses. Number eight, assign naps. And I mean that sincerely, but I feel like Mary is a more often than not a napper compared to Martha. My mom’s insulted if I even talk about taking a nap. She seems to think it’s, I don’t know, she just looks down her nose that taking a nap, a nap every day, girl. Okay. now it might only be 10 minutes, but I need that recharge is when my kids and I are having a rough day and getting frazzled. I would say it’s time for everyone to take a nap and just rest for a minute. Maybe they’re just playing quietly, but build that in. You need it. It’s emotional space is what it is. Number nine, have her prayer partner for the crises because you do feel a lot.
Linda Lacour Hobar: So when they back talk your, it didn’t go well. Have a prayer partner. I had a best friend named Wendy who literally I would meet on the corner and we would pray together. And it was like when they pray with me before I hurt someone, you know. And last I would just say, have a game plan for meltdowns by downs. I think we all know what they are, but not assume we’re never going to have when you will. But there are two kinds of meltdowns. There’s minor meltdowns, you know, that’s when the child is still vertical, but they’re just frazzled. And in that case, with a minor meltdown, you model the fruits of the spirit, which is something God’s given you as a a sensitive spirit. So model patients and help that child learn to problem solve frustration. But then major meltdown, that’s when they’re now horizontal.
Linda Lacour Hobar: They’re far worse. And the major meltdown is a much more difficult situation, hard for, and Mary, because Mary might be kind of a cheerleader, like, Hey, you know, get up honey. And that child, actually, the more you cheerlead the worst it gets in a major meltdown because they’re saying, no, you don’t understand. It’s blah, blah, blah. And it’s the end of the world as they know it. But again deal with it immediately if you need to, but not always. Because if you always deal with major meltdowns, immediately you might be getting played. Somebody might be taking advantage of your sweet spirit and your sensitive side. And so, you know, you may need to say, honey, I see you’re upset, but you know, we have to go to X, Y, orZ , and you put their shoes on and wipe their face. But you get back to them later. And that’s Christian parenting one-on-one. When you go back later and talk about the selfishness in their heart, the, you know, the little monster that wants out and how Jesus alone can take care of that selfishness and narcissism. So anyway, that’s my, my tip is to have a plan for meltdowns. Think about them ahead of time.
Yvette Hampton: Yeah. So anyway, I feel like for as mostly Mary discipline is difficult for me. And, and do you find, I mean it just seems logical that it would be harder for Mary than it would be for Martha cause we want to, we want to nurture, we want our kids to, you know, we want them to like us and we, we don’t want that. We know it’s necessary. But man, it’s hard. It is such a hard thing. So. Okay. Well do you have more tips? Cause I feel like, no, that’s really all I have. I have, I feel like we could keep going. Well, actually I have just a couple other things to say about marrying a little on Martha and then we can, we can we have a few minutes and talk to these gals and just real quickly if, if you guys have questions if you could do me a favor and write just like Victoria just did right question at the front of your question. That is, it makes it much easier for me to scroll through them and see are you and Linda, you can see the comments on the side there too, right? Sure. So, yeah, write the word question at the beginning. That makes it a lot easier cause there’s so many comments coming up that are not actually questions, which I love the comments, keep those coming too, but I love it. Well, a couple things about
Linda Lacour Hobar: Married, like usually when I wrap this up, I just want to talk about spiritually where she said, go from, here are some of you, I’ve opened a can of worms and you’re like, Oh, I’m a very, it’s revelation. But I just want to say Mary is good at going to the feet of Jesus. So just keep doing it. When all else fails, you know, you can take what you have and lay it at the feet of Jesus, figuratively, literally in prayer on your face. Keep taking it to the feet of Jesus because you know, from the scripture, he cares. Look at how much he valued this woman that poured it out. And again, I don’t know if she was unprepared that day. I don’t know if she was a snare or a Saint and this was her dowery or if this was you know, such a repentant woman maybe for some poor decisions, but we know where she was regardless that was at his feet.
Linda Lacour Hobar: So I just kind of don’t need to remind Mary, but yet I still want to say when homeschooling doesn’t quite go, like you think and you’ve got somebody fussing at you and your life, the way Martha fussed, things weren’t going the way she wanted that day. Just remember, Jesus is there to defend you and care for you and your tender heart. I also want to say don’t not be a Mary now, I’m not saying don’t, you know, mustered up some time and do the hard things cause we do need to do the hard things. My children relied on me to get it together. However, God gave me a Merry heart for reason. This world needs the Mary heart as fragile as it might be at times, but he’s giving you that heart. I think for our calls for a reason, there is a hurting world that needs it and you’re good at that.
Linda Lacour Hobar: So just structure your life in ways that you’re not doing Martha things. Don’t put yourself under that load, but look for them. Marry things. And as a closing word to my Martha friends, Oh God, how I love the Martha’s in my life who have held me down when I needed it, you know, prodded me along. I do want to say Martha, don’t try to fix Mary. She’s not really fixable. I’m not by the list that you so desperately want to give her. It’s not going to help. I’m not saying you don’t give her a few self help books. She may need them. I have a whole library of them. It’s funny actually. They’re half read self help books because that is such a Merry thing. You know, like if you looked at so many of the books I own, there’s a bookmark somewhere in there where I trailed off in the bookmark. It might be a receipt, it’s a boarding pass. It might be a tissue square as a bookmark when you need one. Right? That’s part of me in America. But anyway, so yes, there are helps out there, but at the end of the day, I’m not sure that we’re not supposed to be a, Martha are not supposed to be a married, but embrace it. One other note, I think some of you might be worried going now it’s not this, the lady that wrote the mystery of history and maybe that makes you nervous. Well, let me share this insight. [inaudible]
Yvette Hampton: Didn’t God want everyone to see him and not me? I think that’s all the more reason he picked my Mary heart. I also think if you read my books, you’d see that my heart kind of bleeds on the pages of history. So thank God just used my Mary Hart was there hard to write those books. Absolutely. But to him be the Cory. So he found a way to use something he gave me, which is kind of inherently a weakness, but he made it a strength to feel this history. Oh, how I’ve cried through it and still do. Yeah. Well anyway, I wanted to encourage you with that. It’s interesting to think through your personality as a Mary and having written the mystery of history because the way that you wrote that curriculum is it, it’s you feel as if you are sitting in having a conversation with the author who is you, it’s a very relatable it’s, it’s not so textbooky.
Yvette Hampton: And, and I think typically I would imagine that most textbooks as good as many of them are, but I would say that most textbooks, especially history and science textbooks, things like that are written by Martha’s. It’s, you know, here’s point cause they get it done because they get it done. Exactly. but they list all of the things that you need to know, whereas the mystery of history is very heartfelt and it, it feels conversational. And so I love that about your curriculum. There’s a question on here and you were talking about the, the, they were some of your tips for Mary’s and you’re talking about have an end time for your kids when they start. And I love that Victoria put this question because I was thinking the same thing. How do you then get started on time? Because if you have an end time, if Mary’s gonna end at two o’clock, well Mary might end at two, but Mary May not have started school until one because she’s a Mary and she’s not that organized.
Yvette Hampton: And so I’ll, I know what my answer to that would be because this is me, but I’m gonna let you run with that first. Great question. Well, I’m sure school never started earlier than nine at our house. And I will say, getting out of bed in the morning. We would start, but it just doesn’t mean it was all together. Like I was able to leave dishes in the sink. I was able to maybe leave this a skewer that a skewer, maybe the beds were unmade, but you know, I was so committed to teaching my kids and always sensing that I needed to be on it. You know what I mean? Like we just took school so seriously that even with some things undone, I could just start. I will say for my mom that would be something she couldn’t do. She, if she had a stack of dishes, she’d have to do them first because to her that was logical and an order in.
Yvette Hampton: Sure. That’s great if you had time, but I know I’m going to run out of time, so sometimes I just started in the middle of chaos is my point and somewhere around nine 10 maybe it was 11 maybe it was one 30 but either way I’m probably going to end it too because I needed to for me. Sure. Yeah, and I would say that it depends on your family and on the ages of your kids. Because if you, if you have high schoolers, they’re going to require several more hours, a day of instruction and schooling, then a, you know, second grader is going to, and so if you’re a family that just can’t get up and going in the morning, you know, you’re just not a we’re, we are not a morning family at all. We are very late night family and that’s because of the job my husband has always had.
Yvette Hampton: And that’s just kinda how our family has always been. And homeschooling has allowed us to be that kind of family. But we typically, we don’t start school ever before 11 o’clock ever. Now. We’re definitely more of a kind of life schooling type of family. But we actually do, you know, schoolwork. But when, when we have to actually sit down and do math or science or anything like that, we never start before 11 and oftentimes it’s noon and we’ll get through the first subject and we’re like, it’s like lunch time now. We should go eat. And so we’re sometimes not finishing until four or five in the afternoon, but that’s okay because that’s what works for us. And so don’t, don’t feel like you need to be married to that two o’clock time frame. It’s more a matter of how long is it going to take your family to do school when you get started, figure that out and then adjust your time accordingly for that.
Yvette Hampton: And I certainly would have been more of an unschooler naturally and not even worried about the clock. But again, I was stepping it up for the personality of my children, right. Wanted more structure. And so based on what they wanted, which also they wanted to be done in the afternoon, they didn’t want this thing going all day long either. So we found that balance. But yes. Yes, absolutely. Here’s a question and this one actually, it’s specifically for mr [inaudible] history. She says, if we use mystery of history, we don’t need any other world history for high school. Correct. Volume four is great for world history in high school. Volume four, cause it really ramps up. And if you think about it, they’re getting the last three centuries, which are the most relevant to them. So in my opinion, volume four is high school worthy. In fact, I hope you’ll hold it for high school and let it be the one.
Yvette Hampton: Yeah, it would be great little kids can tag along, but it is much more geared for the older students. Yes, yes. Good question. Perfect. Okay. And then, Oh, I lost the one there. One for Victoria. Anything’s going too fast here. Okay. Another one about mystery history is all inclusive for high school world history. Can we just read right timeline and maybe research. So in regards to using MOH, there’s a lot of flexibility built into it because of my own personality. But look at it this way, the mr of history is a buffet where you can go down the buffet line and really just get the meat and the history lessons if that’s all you have time for that day. But all those side dishes are their end up. They Lobel for those that want to feast more or they want a salad that day, they want dessert, which is additional literature. So look at it as a buffet style and there aren’t daily lesson plans because I would never come up with daily lesson plans, trap anybody in
Linda Lacour Hobar: That. However, there are weekly lesson plans and tracks to run on, which I think is kind of enough for most people and it just gives flexibility and breathability. Yeah, totally. By the way, I have a free gift for everybody. So just in case somebody was thinking of seeking out, can I give you my face? Of course, because I don’t want them to miss that. So since we’re talking about the mystery of history, and again that’s like my whole other skill set is in that I have a free workshop titled when Bible history and world history meet face to face, it’s free to your attendees. It’s normally three 99 on my website. But if you go to the mystery of history.com and search for that workshop when Bible history and world history meet face to face, which is just a beautiful interlocking of again Bible secular history as you know, one which is how it should be.
Linda Lacour Hobar: So there’s a coupon code to get it free. Okay here it is. Okay to support you eat that. So the coupon code is, let me just look, make sure the school house rock school comes from me. Want to remember to pray for you. We hope this has been beneficial this whole week. You know for you guys we’re thinking a lot about you. So school, house rock, all caps, I’m sorry, all lower case, no spaces. Okay. But on my website to get a free workshop and maybe it’ll inspire you if you haven’t seen my work before. Again, it’s pulling together Bible in world history and it’s really quite fascinating. Most of us didn’t grow up with it that way at all. I love that. I love that. Maybe if Garritt is listening and maybe he can put the link to that when Bible history and world history meet face to face and it’s go house rocked and make sure you do R O C K E D at the end, so thank you for that.
USE COUPON CODE: schoolhouserocked
Linda Lacour Hobar: That’s awesome. People can also follow me on Facebook. You can subscribe to my website if you’re on there and I get that monthly newsletters and blogs and stuff like that. And your website is the mystery of history. [inaudible] Dot com don’t leave out the the the mystery of history.com but I’m still happy to talk more Miriam, I just wanted to sneak that in there. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We do have, there’s a couple more questions here. Let’s see. This one says, what about tips? This is a good one and you kind of touched on this, but I want to ask the question again. What about tips for a Martha mom with Mary kids from your history? What can we do better for our Mary’s? Oh, I love that question. It already showed you’re not as much a Martha as you can about your Mary’s.
Linda Lacour Hobar: And I would say be patient. Think about my poor mother, my mother for so many years, really worried herself about me because it was hard for me to appear a habit to gather, you know, I’m the free spirit. It’s an artsy side. It’s you know, there’s just stuff going on and here I did make good grades, but it was hard for me to follow through on a lot. And you know, my room was a mess and as a high schooler and stuff, but, but listen, she loved me. She worried for me and then she watched me grow and really the Lord got ahold of me. I got saved at age 17. And so what happened is the Lord gave me a set of values when I came to know him, that changed my perspective, changed my priorities. I’m sure, you know, that just led me down a path of wanting to please him and I’m the girl that wanted to please him and be at his feet because I feel like up until I was 17, I had done so much wrong.
Linda Lacour Hobar: I had made a lot of mistakes that lived for me and it showed I was that high school girl. And you know, if you had looked at me you would have known I wasn’t probably a church girl. So I’d say just be patient with your Mary’s, recognize their free spirit and don’t date their lesson plans. Maybe give them a run on. And also when you’re cleaning house, maybe you give your Martha’s a to do list, but give your Mary one thing to do at a time whispered in her ear or his ear and then reward them with a lot of praise once they’ve done it because that child doesn’t do the list. Well I guess five boxes and, and I even despise sometimes putting things on paper cause I feel like paper cannot begin to contain what sometimes his heart feels. It falls short.
Linda Lacour Hobar: And it’s true of a list. If you’d fall by to do lists now can I show for fun? You know what I live by? This is so embarrassing for one. I live by a lot of posts that real pretty desk behind me. Don’t be deceived. In front of me. What y’all can’t see is a whole bunch. I’ve got a Kleenex box. That glass messed up anyway. You wouldn’t even believe the things that are on this side that y’all can’t see. It’s kinda messy right now. But all back to post, it’s, I just live by poses and I live by a spiral notebook that just sits by my desk. And the reason I go for a spiral notebook is because I won’t lose it. It stays in a spiral form because if it’s on a piece of paper that might travel, otherwise it’s going to be the bottom of somewhere. Anyway, I will know book post-its. That’s how I live life and a calendar. But we stop there. I also have a spiral notebook and it’s pretty because I want pretty, so we were talking about that because we’re married and they want pretty things. And Garritt always tells me that I should have other ways to organize myself. And I’m like, but that doesn’t work for me.
Linda Lacour Hobar: This would be pretty, but I’m using it. My daughter’s last, she left at home still. You know, I want to say planet too. So I’m using a whole eye-roll notebook. Let’s answer I think we can get to one more. This one says, how do you not feel at war with your children all the time about school in chores? That’s great. Good question. I will say, I certainly confessed my weaknesses to my children often. I mean, we went over this a lot, you know, they, they knew my Mary’s side. They knew I didn’t always have it together. And some of that just had to apologize that I fell asleep almost every other day in algebra, you know, or whatever it was, or that the, those lesson plans weren’t made. And we didn’t, you know, there was this time that didn’t have it together, but you know what, think of the things that I did give my children and they knew they were loved because I was the mama that curled up with them at night on the top bunk to talk about puberty again and that they’re gonna make it through. And I am the mom that read out loud and I am the mom that prayed with them. And you know, there’s just so many things I certainly did to invest that. There was no doubt I loved them. Didn’t always have a tick out a patella’s. Okay. Love kind of conquers all. It’s still B roll silly. But we have a family theme song and my husband’s put together a lot of collective videos of like old home movies and stuff. And our, our family theme song turned out to be love shack.
Linda Lacour Hobar: Use love shack. Oh, bar’s theme song. Because the end of the day we certainly loved each other, didn’t always get along. I had a cat, a monkey, and a golden retriever and personality and a cat and a monkey fought all the time, you know? So I’m separating them a lot, but there was love. So Mary’s good at that and
Yvette Hampton: Covers a multitude of sins. Yeah, I love it. And the cat and the monkey get along now that they’re adults short, they do so well. Thank you Linda. You’re a blessing. I’ve loved going through this and I know this is such a fun little quiz, so hopefully those who got to take part in this, you’ll really be able to walk away with some encouragement. Just knowing that God made you exactly the way that you are. He made your kids exactly the way that they are and he’s made us all this way for a purpose. And so it’s so good to know and to understand really how he made us so that we can better serve his kingdom. So thank you guys so much. And I want to always start a Facebook group for marriage
Linda Lacour Hobar: Called “For Mary’s only”. Who would host it and spend too much time on it. So I don’t know that we’re ever going to get this off the ground.
Yvette Hampton: Oh my goodness. Well do you know how many people named Mary, which is join it because they would think it was a group just for them. So anyway, if we see in the comments somebody wants to start, I might participate if a Martha wants to start it for Mary’s only group, maybe that’s how it needs to go down. But yes, thank you so much Linda. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to spend with us and help us just better understand. Thank you for having me. I hope we will encourage someone out there. Y’all are in my prayers. I am sure it will. So thank you guys and thank you for joining us again today. You guys, we have another amazing session coming up. We have two actually today, but our next one is with Todd Wilson and he’s going to be talking about lies that homeschoolers believe.
Yvette Hampton: So you are not going to want to miss that. He is a homeschool dad who is just full of wisdom and wet. He’s funny and you’re really going to enjoy that when he’s going to bring some great encouragement to as well. And then following that we’ve got another discussion panel at the end of this day that you are going to be so encouraged by. So make sure you join us for the next next few hours cause we’re still going. We’re still going strong and well we’ll be back in a few minutes. Don’t forget that there are contests still going on to make sure that you look on the Facebook page or on the website and enter the contest. You guys, there are a ton of great things to give away. We have been so just blessed by the generosity of, of many, many of our speakers and our sponsors, those who have rallied around us to get this event done this week. It’s been exciting. And the swag bag too. So there’s so many fun things that you guys get to enjoy with this and please keep telling your friends people are still signing up like crazy. It’s so fun. And anything that they’ve missed already, they can come back and and watch again after the fact. So have a fantastic rest of your afternoon, Linda. Thank you for your time and we’ll see you guys back here in about 15 minutes. Bye.