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“Why am I doing this homeschool thing?” How many times do we ask ourselves this question?
It is crucial to know our ‘why’ because that is what keeps us rooted and grounded when hard days come and we feel unqualified and overwhelmed (sound familiar?)
However, knowing our ‘why’ isn’t always enough, we must have the right why in order to stay the course.
Come and join Aby Rinella as she discusses the heart of homeschool and the greatest ‘why’ of all. This session is for all homeschool parents; the new homeschool mom that is just now discovering her why as well as the mom that has been doing it so long she may have lost her ‘why’ along the way.
You will be inspired, encouraged and have your passion for His calling lit on fire!
Scripture References:
Recommended Resources:
Sharpie Highlighters for The Child Training Bible and Virtue Training Bible.
Education: Does God Have an Opinion?, by Israel Wayne
Automated Transcript (Spelling and grammar errors are guaranteed!)
Yvette Hampton: Good morning everybody. It’s Friday. I am so excited and look who I’m with. I’m with Abbey. Nella that’s what we call her in our family because we’ve decided why waste your time seeing Abby Rinella when you can just say Abinella it’s just so much easier. All about efficiency. It’s all about efficiency. And as homeschool moms we want to make the best use of our time. So in ELA it is, have you ever seen, you know how people will text and they’ll say like, Oh the letter R and the letter you for are you instead of actually spelling out, are you right? And I saw a sign once and it said, Hey wonder what the people who use our you do with all the rest of their spare time. Oh my goodness. That is hilarious. Hilarious. So I never text the letter R in the letter. You just so you know you don’t run.
Yvette Hampton: I don’t do LOL either. No. Cause I could never figure it out. If that’s lots of lever laughing out loud. I still don’t know. So I don’t want to like tell someone that I’m laughing at their pain when I should be saying I lots of love sent your way. Did you also did you also ever see the one where the emoji that’s the praying hands is really a high five. And when you say, you know, my mom was just in a car accident and someone says praying, but it’s really like, hi. Anyway, we got to be careful with that kind of stuff. We do have to be careful with that kind of stuff. Yeah, we really do.
Aby Rinella: Anyway, this is why we have fun together because we talk about dumb things that it is, and I don’t know how you’re going to segue this so you might want to cut to the chase.
Yvette Hampton: The conversation is just over. Can you tell that Abby and I have had a very long and exciting week. It has been so much fun. For those of you who have joined us this week, we have been beyond blessed by your encouragement, your comments. Your interaction on all of these sessions has been amazing when we, and we’ve never done anything like this before, like this was all new to us, this whole online. Okay. I’m going to tell you guys a secret. I have never in my life even watched an online conference ever. Not an online homeschool conference, not an online anything like I’ve seen online masterclasses and you know, talks of course, but I’ve never actually watched an online conference. So I’m like, Oh, we’re flying by the seat of our pants. I really actually don’t know what we’re doing.
Aby Rinella: Oh, but by the comments and people writing in and we are grateful that God is using it because it sounds like God that God is using it. So let us know in your comments. You know, we want questions and comments in here because sometimes it’s nice to know we’re talking to other people. Yes,
Yvette Hampton: Yes. We love hearing your comments and your questions. But thank you guys for just being with us this week. It has been so much fun. And, and you guys keep, keep commenting and blessing and saying what a blessing it has been. It has been a blessing to us. I mean, as I’m, I’m sitting here and I’m the one who’s getting to talk to all these speakers and Abby’s getting to talk to them and we are as blessed as you are. You are by their wisdom and just insight into homeschooling and parenting and marriage and, and, and life. This whole thing that we call life that God has called us to. He has called us to this. He has called us to this parenting thing, to this marriage thing, to this homeschooling thing, all of this. And sometimes we can get so wrapped up and feeling like we’re not doing it right.
Yvette Hampton: We’re not doing enough. Everyone else is doing it better than I am. And, and just feeling so inadequate. And, and I said this, I actually don’t even remember what session it was, but we were talking about, you know, teaching our kids that just the love of Jesus, that Jesus loves them so much. But moms, Jesus loves you so much too. He cares so much about you. He sees you, he sees your struggles, he hears your prayers, he knows exactly where you are and he is with you. And you’re not in this alone. It’s not that you’re just not in this alone. You know you, you’ve got a community around you of, of other homeschool families, but you have the Lord, you have the God, the creator of the universe who knows everything about you and he loves you so much. And so just keep, keep at this you guys.
Yvette Hampton: And so this is what today is all about. Every day we’ve had kind of a theme of the day. And today our theme is let’s go, let’s do this. You guys, let’s do this. If you feel like giving up, don’t give up. We’re going to do this together. We’re going to do this. We’re going to pray for one another. We talked earlier in the week about just the importance of community and that if you don’t have a community around you, a local community, use social media in a way that, that can bring community, a good solid community around you. And so I know many of you have actually been connecting with one another behind the scenes, which is so amazing. Send each other friend requests and then message each other. That’s how Abbie and I got to know each other. Actually. We’re, you know, we’re each other’s, you know, a couple of each other’s best friends now.
Yvette Hampton: I mean, it’s incredible. And we have actually only ever met in person one time. And we live what, 2000 miles from each other. Yeah, she’s in Idaho. I’m in Georgia. And so we’re far apart distance wise, but we talk daily. And so God is just so faithful in that. And, and actually all of my best friends live thousands of miles away from me. And so God can use that to bring encouragement to you and to build, build the friendships. So anyway, so today we’re talking about just let’s do this, let’s go, let’s do this together. And one of the things that we want to kind of bring it all back around to as why, the why of homeschooling. You know, why, why does it matter? And Abby and I have talked a whole lot about this. We’ve done a few podcasts about it together.
Yvette Hampton: We did one with Karen abuse. That was just an amazing podcast. And so we’re going to just bring this back around and we’re going to talk with Abby today about the why of homeschooling. Because if you haven’t been convinced yet by all the speakers this week, you will be convinced by Abby as to why this homeschooling thing and discipleship is so very important. And I want to say, and I know Abby will say this too, homeschooling is not the gospel. This is not what saves our kids, but it is a fantastic way to pour into the hearts of our children. And so we’re going to talk about that this morning. But for those of you maybe who are like, who’s this? Abby lady. Abby, introduce yourself.
Aby Rinella: My name is Abby Rinella and it’s always hard to introduce myself. Cause that’s what I say. So I think there’s two different things. What do I do and who am I? So I am, I am the cohost of the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast. I’m with Yvette. We cohost together. I am the director of my local homeschool support group. I am on the board of directors for my state, for the, I am homeschool, Idaho, our state organization. I’m a writer and a speaker in both the homeschool community and also the outdoor industry. We, we do a little bit of both, but those are really just things that God has called me to do. Who am is a child of God? I am a child of God. I’m, I’m the wife of my dream man, the mom to three kids. And I am a sinner saved by grace.
Aby Rinella: I am a mom that everyday gets up and cries out to God for the strength and the energy to homeschool. And I am in the trenches with you. I have, I have kindergarten all the way up to middle school. So I get it. I get it. And I get to share God’s wisdom with you because honestly, it’s the, it’s the only thing that keeps me going. So know that I’m in the trenches with, you know, that I understand how hard this can be, but how rewarding it can be. Any vet said if you haven’t already decided to homeschool, I can convince you. But the truth is I don’t want to convince you, I want to share with you what God says because God, believe it or not, God does say something about this. And if God can’t convince you, then nobody can. So that’s what we’re going to be talking about today is the why of homeschool, but not my why, not Yvette’s why I’m not even anybody else’s. Why, but really the reason that we’re doing this and the foundation of this.
Yvette Hampton: Yes, that’s right. So I’m, I’m excited. I say let’s, let’s just dive in and if you guys have questions, you’ve been doing such a great job of this. Just write the word question in front of your questions and keep the comments going. We love to see them. But yeah, put in your questions and we’ll, we’ll answer them as we can. We may, I don’t know, we may try to get to some in the middle of this. If not, we’ll get to them at the end. But please, definitely let us know what your questions are. And so, yeah. So Abby, I let go. Let’s talk. Let’s, we’ll take role play a little bit. I’m a mom. I continue on like, you know, happy. I’ve been hearing about this homeschool thing and I just don’t think it’s for me. Oh yeah. It’s not for me either. I don’t think it’s for any of us.
Aby Rinella: Why we’re doing it. Right. Why would I spend all day, every day at home with my children when I could put them on the bus and go get a coffee and go exercise and go shopping? Why would I do that? So the first question I want to say is why ask why? Why are we even asking why do this? Why don’t we just do what we want to do? And if it changes, we do something else. But God tells us in first, Peter, that we need to have an answer for everything we do. And so the first thing I ask people who aren’t homeschooling is, why are you putting your kids in public school? Because really why I homeschool and why you put your kids in public school and why am I making, you know, this for dinner tonight and this for why are we doing anything that we’re doing?
Aby Rinella: And I think sometimes people aren’t homeschooling because they haven’t asked themselves why their kids are in public school. Is it just because that’s what you do? That’s what my parents did. That’s, that’s just what the world does. So my biggest challenges ask the question, why are we doing this? Because there has to be a solid foundation as to why we’re doing this. Otherwise we’re going to quit. So we’re going to discuss some of the reasons people say what, what are some of the reasons people homeschool Eva? Oh, many, many reasons. Disciple for us is our main reason why here report into their hearts or into your kids. I hear a lot of things. Freedom. You know, we can start school when we want. We can end school when we want. We can teach to our kids, you know, gifts and talents, we can we can make our own schedules.
Aby Rinella: That’s a huge one. We can build family relationships. And for me, when I started, it was because I like my kids. I genuinely like spending time with my kids. I’m also hardwired in that. I like being home. I like doing the, the homemaking things. I like teaching. I like to teach. So those are a lot of the reasons that people homeschool. But the truth is those aren’t, I, I hate to hurt your feelings, but those aren’t good enough reasons. They’re just not, those are really, really good reasons. But what they are is their benefits, their blessings to homeschool. Those are kind of the, those are the things that you get after you make the real reason of why you’re homeschooling. Those things naturally happen. You know, you hear, Oh my kids are, you know, they, they get better grades. Academically. Homeschool kids could do better.
Aby Rinella: Well, that, that’s true, but that’s not why we’re doing it. Abby Johnson, who, I don’t know if you guys know Abby Johnson, she’s the unplanned. She wrote the book on planned and she did the movie unplanned. And I was always I love what she said about, you know, people say, well, why, why should we fight for life? You know, and someone said, well, because that baby could have been the next president or that baby could have had the cure for cancer and you just killed that baby. And she said, you know what, that is one of the worst things we could be saying because the truth is we’re still putting value on that child’s life. That child’s life has value because God gave it value. Not because they’re going to be a president, not because they’re going to do something great, but because they’re humans.
Aby Rinella: And so, if that’s your reason why, this is what she was saying, if that’s your reason why you’re pro-life, that’s not a very good reason. Because what if that baby you were to grow up to not be the president or are they a mistake? No. so we need to know our wife or everything. I think of it also as marriage. If you would asked my husband 20 years ago when we met why he was going to marry me, if he would’ve said, well, because I think she’s cute and she’s really fun and we have a lot of the same things in common and she’s adventurous. You know, fast forward 20 years and that’s changed. You know, you, you hit 40 and you’re nice and I might not be as adventurous and sometimes after raising kids and doing things through the house, I might not be as fun.
Aby Rinella: And if that’s why, if that’s what he married me, then it probably wouldn’t stick. But if he said, you know, because I’m making this commitment before the Lord of Lords, before God, then no matter what comes our way, our marriage is going to stick. So it’s the same with homeschool. If you’re homeschooling because you want your kids to be smarter or go to a better college or be more successful or because you want to build those sibling relationships then what happens when their academics aren’t through the roof? What when they start fighting, what happens when they’re really not that fun anymore? You know, I have days where I’m like, yeah, I’m really not enjoying. Am I the only one? But yesterday was a great day, but today I, you know, it’s not my favorite, but when we make our, why God’s word, when we make our wide God’s word, then all of those things fall by the wayside and we can stay the course because homeschooling can be hard.
Aby Rinella: There are going to be times where it’s hard and you want to quit, and you want to give up and all those other wise aren’t making sense. They’re not coming together in the big picture. And so the only thing that doesn’t change, the only thing that doesn’t change is God’s word. And when our foundation for why we homeschool is based on God’s word, then you’re going to stay the course. You’re going to be able to live through the shaky things. You’re going to be able to handle it. When hormones start coming around, whether they’re your teenagers or yours, you’re going to be able to handle it. When you’re doing the same math problem for the hundredth time and they’re not getting it. That’s going to be what stays the course. So, so in that we have to say, so then what does God’s word say?
Aby Rinella: You know, everybody’s okay. Yeah, that’s great. That’s wonderful. But what does God’s word say about homeschool? And I used to think that the only thing that God’s word said about homeschool was Deuteronomy six, seven. You know, it’s the, it’s, it’s the homeschool verse, right? We are to impress God’s word on our children when they sit at home, when they walk. By the way, when they lie down, when they get up, like that’s the token home school verse. And that is true. And that is not a suggestion. God doesn’t say, Hey, it would be a good idea if you did this. That’s a command. God says, this is what you are to do. This is why I made you parents. This is why I gave you kids and this is what you’re supposed to do. They say, I hear a lot of people say, you know, Oh, too bad kids don’t come with an instruction manual.
Aby Rinella: You know, actually almost every single kid that I left the hospital with, the nurses would say that as I left, you know, kids don’t come with an instruction manual. And I said, they actually do. Did you know that they do? Did you know that when I was born, when God made me a mom, he gave me everything I need to do it right here in his word. But that is not the only verse in God’s word that talks about how we are to teach and train up our children. It’s a good one. And it’s one that we need to hang onto and it’s one we need to be obedient to. But I hear a lot of parents say, well, I do that. I send them to school for academics. But you know, when, when they rise up at home, we do a morning devotional before I put them on the bed and when they get home and I put them to bed, we pray and, and so they say that.
Aby Rinella: So, I, we just dug into God’s word a little bit more. And we said, what does God’s word say? Because if that is not our foundation, then we might as well throw in the towel right now because we’re not going to make it. So I want to take you and you guys, this would be awesome if you could just, if you just wanted to get out your Bibles with us this morning, because that’s really what we’re doing here is we want to, we want to point you guys in everything you do to God’s word. So Psalm one says, blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the way of sinners nor seat and sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord and on his law does he meditate day and night.
Aby Rinella: And I don’t think there’s a parent that is listening here that doesn’t want their child to be blessed. That is a universal parental thing is we want blessings on our children. And what’s amazing is God just gave you the recipe for your child to be blessed in his word right there. It says, blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked. So the goal is blessings on our children. It’s not how much baggage can we expose our kids to and hope and pray, you know, that they’re going to be able to carry it into adulthood. Well, and I think that that’s where we get it backwards. When we say we’re not walking in the counsel of wicked, and I look at the public schools and I say, you know what? The council there is not biblical counsel. It’s not at the very best.
Aby Rinella: It’s silent about God. But the truth is, is, is the schools aren’t just silent about God. They’re, they’re teaching things that are contrary to God’s word. And anything that is contrary to God’s word is wicked. So they are, they are. They’re standing and walking in that they’re he says, sit in the seat of mockers. When your child sits in a seat, in a place that tells them that they were not created on purpose, that they were not created for a purpose, that they were an accident of the cosmos, that they were a product of evolution that is mocking God, that is mocking the God who created and designed them. And we are sitting them in the seat of the mockers. When we do that and the, and the truth as you go back up, they won’t be blessed. I want my children to be blessed and I know that you guys want your children to be blessed.
Aby Rinella: So, go to Psalm one and God tells you how to do it. It’s, it’s not complicated. And then I want to look a little bit into one of, one of my passions is God’s word tells us in Ephesians six not to exasperate our children and a lot of people for years. I went, what did that mean? What does that mean? Sometimes I’m like, is making them do this math problem 15 times? Exasperating them, but, but really I want to look at it. What does it mean to exasperate your children? Big picture. So God says don’t exasperate them, but instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. So let’s talk about what it means to exasperate our children. Well, if I am building a foundation a double foundation, cause God says we need to build our lives on a foundation of truth, his word.
Aby Rinella: And if we’re building a double foundation, which means I’m building a foundation at home of God’s word, my husband and I are teaching our children God’s word. We are teaching them truth. We’re taking them to church and in our home or teaching them God’s word, but then I send them every day and the reality is more hours a day than I’m spending with them. If I send them every day to build a different foundation, a foundation based on secular thought, a nation void of God, then every day they’re building this foundation and then they come home and I’m tearing down that foundation and building a biblical foundation. And then they go to school and they’re tearing down the foundation that we’re building at home. And I want to tell you that that leads to one of two things. It’s going to lead to rebellion or walking away in your child, or it’s going to lead to a watered down Christianity.
Aby Rinella: When we’re trying to mold God’s word in with our culture, we are going to have Christians, children that are, have a watered down at Christianity. They are being taught that they can have two foundations, that they can be one foot in the world and one foot in God’s word. And that is not, that is just not truth. And so that is exasperating our children every day when we’re building these two foundations and they’re just tearing each other down and our kids are confused what is true? What is real, what is right? You know, on one hand, my mom and dad are telling me this at home, and I’m reading this in God’s word, but then the same people, my mom and dad are sending me to a place that tells me that that’s all lies. We’re contradicting ourselves. Parents, we’re telling our kids to stand for truth.
Aby Rinella: You know, stand for God’s word, stand for truth. However, when they hand you the test at school, I need you to fill in the bubbles for the answers for lies. You know, when they ask you where you came from, you need to go ahead and fill in the right bubble that they’re asking you because we need you to get an a on that test. So stand for truth, but, but not at school or Stanford truth in the hallways. But when your teacher talks evolution, I want you to sit quietly and listen. That is exasperating our children. How do I know this? Because I was a Christian kid in a public school and I was exasperated. We’re teaching them to be missionaries. We’re telling them to go into the halls of the school, but bite your tongue, bite your tongue. You know, don’t, don’t, don’t dishonor the teachers by telling them that what they’re saying is wrong.
Aby Rinella: We’re also making our children not trust us because I would have a really hard time as a child if my parents were speaking truth to me at home, but then wondering, why are they sending me there? Then if they’re telling me all of these things, why would they send me into the lion’s den? And so it’s shaking our kids’ trust on one, what we believe. We need to build a foundation for our children that they can stand on. We need to not be building this piddly little foundation at home and then sending them out to have it torn down every day. That is exasperations. And God is clear in his word. Do not exasperate your child. So don’t take my word for it. God is telling you right there. Don’t exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up in truth. Bring them up in his word.
Aby Rinella: And how can I do that if they’re not with me? So, we’ll go on to another verse because God is full. So second Timothy three 16 talks about teaching and training our children. It says that all scripture is God breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness so that they are equipped for every good work. So that verse tells us how to equip our kids. I was at the park not long ago and a mom said, we were, we were actually with our homeschool co-op and the moms that, you know, my husband and I were talking the other night and we feel like junior high is a good time to send our kids into the public school. And I said, Oh really? Why, you know, cause I’m the queen of why, why, why do you feel that way?
Aby Rinella: Because I didn’t want to just slam her down. I wanted to hear her heart and know why. Why do you feel that when she said, Oh because I know this woman, I know her heart is for her children. And she said, well, we just really discussed that we need our kids to be exposed to these things so that we can help them navigate these things. We need them to be exposed to these things so that they can learn to stand strong. We need to expose them to these things so that, and this is the word she said, so that they are equipped to handle the word the world. I’m sorry. So that they are equipped to handle the world. And I stopped and I said, so exposure to sin. So you’re saying to me that exposure to sin is going to equip your kids to do good.
Aby Rinella: Which really, you know, this is what I, this is what is so interesting about the tickling of the ears or the thought of, of our human minds or the, you know, the heart is wicked and deceitful, is that that made me make sense on the surface. But we have to teach and train ourselves to go back to God’s word and everything because all the other moms were like, Whoa, that’s good. Well, we weren’t going to put our kids in middle school. We probably should now, because if we don’t, you know, they’re not going to know how to handle the world. And I said, wait, wait, wait, wait. What does God’s word say about that? So we went to second Timothy and it says, I’m going to read this again. All scripture is God breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness. Now listen to this part so that they are equipped.
Aby Rinella: So, it’s not exposure to sin that’s going to equip our kids. It is scripture. It is being taught and trained. It says in righteousness that’s going to help our kids stand when they come into the world. And I think that that is a lie that is throughout the homeschool community that, you know, we can do this when they’re little. We’re going to build this foundation when they’re small, but then when they get a little bit older, we need to send them out there and we need to expose them to all these wicked, wicked things so that they’re ready. And that that is a lie from the pit of hell. If you, I, if God is not what God’s word says, let’s just say that that is not what God’s word says in anything that is not in God’s word. If it’s not, if it’s contrary to God’s word, it’s a lie.
Aby Rinella: So that is not what is going to equip our kids. So if we look at what this says is that scripture is used to teach our kids, scripture is used in training our kids. I just want to ask you, is that happening in the public schools? When we send our kids to the public schools, are they being trained in scripture? Therefore they’re not being equipped. So therefore there is no equipping going on in those schools. So if you’re thinking of sending them in the middle school to equip them for the real world that is contrary to God’s word, there is no equipping going on there because the only thing that’s going to equip your kids to stand on a firm foundation in this falling apart world is training them in scripture and in truth. The Bible doesn’t tell us to unteach, you know, I’m going to send them all day and then when they get home, I hear that a lot.
Aby Rinella: I’m going to, and you know, we go through what they in an I teach them the truth, but the Bible doesn’t say nowhere does it say unteach your children from what they heard all day, it doesn’t say that. It says teach them when you’re sitting at home, teach them. You can’t be doing that when they’re not with you. You can’t be doing that when they’re all day learning lies. Jeremiah two says, thus says the Lord, I love it. Thus says the Lord. Listen up people. If it starts with that, you better listen. Learn not the way of the heathen. So many people say, I can teach and train my kids up in God’s word when they come home. I can teach and train my kids up on Saturday and Sunday. I’m just sending them for academics. But then what about this first learn not the way of the heathen.
Aby Rinella: They are learning the way of the heathen. If you are sending them into a place void of God every single day, those teachers can. I was a public school teacher. Did I mention that I was a public school teacher? I couldn’t tell my kids about God. And if I did, it was very small and it was really between the lines. I could not teach and train those kids up in the way of the Lord. My mouth was shut, which is why I was no longer a public school teacher cause I just was not wired to shut my mouth. So those verses clearly, they’re very clear. They’re not gray. They are clear that we have a command to teach and train our kids up in the job. And if you want your kids to be blessed and equipped, then, then keeping them at home and teaching them in God’s word is the way.
Aby Rinella: And you know this was just put on my heart. If you’re keeping them home all day and you’re not teaching and training them up in the Lord, like Yvette said earlier, homeschooling isn’t the gospel. The gospel is the gospel. So if you’re doing the most amazing math curriculum and your kids know Latin and you know, you’re doing all these, these incredible things, but you’re not teaching them and training them up in the way of the Lord, then, then that’s, that’s not God’s plan either. So the three things that we’ve talked so far is blessing. We, our children will be blessed through this. We are called not to exasperate them and they will be exasperated if we are continually tearing, trying to build double foundations in their lives. And also teaching and training them in his way so that, so that they will be equipped.
Yvette Hampton: NABI, can I, can I throw another verse in there and, and you might have this, maybe you’re going to get to this later, but I’m going mean it in any way. And we’ve talked about this this week. Luke six 40 says a disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher. So who, who’s teaching our kittens? Yup. And, and let me just say, I grew up in a, in a Christian school. I loved the school that I went to. I was really truly discipled by some of my teachers. Not all of them, but some of them. And, and even in public school, there are good Christian teachers there. But who is discipling your kids? Who is raising them up and, and Christian school, public school, whatever. Do you know who’s pouring into the hearts of your kids? And we’ve, we’ve put this number out there this week and I’m going to put it out there again for those who have missed it. When your kids are in school from kindergarten through 12th grade, they are in the care and under the authority of someone else for over 16,000 hours. Are you kidding guys? Let that sit over 16,000 hours that they are under the teaching and authority of someone else. That is a really long time. That’s a lot of time to give up with your kids when God has called us as their parents to be the ones to train and disciple them. And so
Aby Rinella: 16,000 hours and think of the foundation you can build in a child, it’s 16,000 hours and don’t think that there’s not a foundation being built in those children that you cannot, you cannot tear that foundation down in your, in your little one hour, you know, evening Bible study and your two hours at church on Sunday. It’s not going to happen.
Yvette Hampton: Right, right. And I mean, yeah and even looking at that schedule, you know, they go to school all day, they come home with homework, then you have dinner time. Then they have shower time or bath time and you might get a little bit of reading and cuddle time with them and then they go to bed and they do it all over again the next day. And, and, and just I want to say too, and that setting the foundation for some reason we think that, well what we’ll set that foundation for them, and you talked about this Abby and elementary school years, but then once they get into middle school and high school, somehow there all of a sudden ready foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. The Bible says that a child, an 18 year old is still a child, a 17 1615 year old. They are still children and God has still put them under our authority. And so we are still there. The whole point of their childhood is to set a solid foundation for them and to prepare them for a life of serving Christ and impacting his kingdom in some way. And so, it’s not that, well just their childhood is only up until the age of 13 or 12 and then good luck, you know, I, I mean
Aby Rinella: And those are the most, those are the most foundational. I mean if you have had a 12 or 13 year old, let me tell you, cause I, I, I’m just coming into that, I’m like wow, there’s a whole different ballgame and I don’t want someone else, you know, feeding cause they are so tough would say that a 13 year old girl is far more vulnerable. I mean I is so vulnerable and you know, what’s amazing is science, science shows us that when you study the brain, you know that frontal lobe, that it’s not even fully developed until much later. These are still children. So, so this 13 year old, and I think about that when, when I want to talk about protection a little bit. Cause that goes to that Yvette is when, when I was pregnant, it was unbelievable the books that were thrown at me on how to protect that baby in my womb.
Aby Rinella: Like you can’t eat rough fish. Right. And I you have to take your folic acid every day. You know, you need to make sure that you’re not, you know, skiing because that would be, that would endanger that baby that’s living inside of you. And we do all of this to protect that infant. And then when we have the baby, when we, we, they hand us that baby from the hospital. You know, we had to have car seat checks. I don’t know if anybody else did. Like we’d leave the hospital and have to check our car seat because they want to make sure that your baby is protected. They have these huge mass things all over our town, making sure we’re getting bike helmets on our kids. Like they’re giving out free bike helmets. They’re, they’re making it a big thing because they want to protect our kids.
Aby Rinella: We want to protect our kids. You know, I want to protect because I want to make sure that my knives are put up in a way when they’re little, I want to make sure I’m teaching them stranger danger and, and I put the, I put the little sign out, the little kid, the holding, the slow down children live here sign, right? Because we’re protecting our kids. And that’s a no brainer. I mean, it’s almost like if you don’t do those things, are you even a parent? But then, but then all of a sudden they turn five and it’s not even five. This is the new thing I read around here is when they’re potty trained, once they can go to the potty, I themselves, you know, then you can put them in because we have, you know, now public preschool program. And so I’m like, that’s the standard.
Aby Rinella: When my child can go to the bathroom by themselves, no longer do I have to protect them. Now I get a hand them off to someone else and I want to, I want to challenge parents to say, you know, I’m not telling you, don’t be careful, but broken legs heal, broken legs will heal if your child falls and breaks a leg that, but there is a bigger enemy. There is a bigger enemy than just those dangers of making sure they’re in their car seat and they have their helmets on. There is an enemy that wants to steal, kill, and destroy your child. Let me say that again. There is an enemy that wants to steal, kill and destroy your enemy. And this isn’t a scare tactic. This is truth. So why is it that we are so concerned about physical protection for our children?
Aby Rinella: Why is it that we, we go around and childproof our house? Why is it that we do all of these things and yet when it comes to their spiritual protection, we are so lazy. Why is it that we allow that we would be okay with lies being fed into our children? Moms, God made you a mama bear and he made you a mama. Bear on purpose and don’t lose that. Do not lose that just because now all of a sudden they’re potty trained and somebody else is telling you it’s time to let them go. Absolutely not. I want to quote, this is fun. I want to tell a little story that actually Garrett Hampton said, I think Eva shared this with me, but he said, and I’m going to read it. If someone were to break into your house and you were in danger you would not as a parent, go curl up in the closet and hide your kids and say, you know, good luck.
Aby Rinella: We’re going to, we’re going to pray for you over here while the enemy is after you. And then when the, then when the enemy leaves and when the intruder leaves, I’m going to tell you what you should have done, right, right. We would never do that. We would never do that as moms. We are on the front lines to protect our children. We should be on the front lines keeping them out of danger. Our children are not old enough or strong enough or knowledgeable enough to defend themselves. So take that same inborn fierceness to want to protect your child from all the physical dangers in the world and take that to the next level and say those dangers are not nearly what the dangers, the spiritual dangers are for my child out there. And we need to carry that same fierceness until our child leaves our home and beyond.
Aby Rinella: It doesn’t end at five. It doesn’t end at 13. It doesn’t end as long as we’re living on this earth, we are called to and, and so many people feel like, Oh well you’re over protecting your kid. Well I want to tell you something. I don’t know where that term came from because I would so rather my kids leave my home and say, mom over protected me cause she, you know, she kept me from the enemy’s grasp. Then my kids leaving my home and having all this baggage and struggling with what is truth and having this double foundation and living in this progressive world trying to, I would rather them say that because you know what? It’s our job to protect. It’s in us. It is hardwired into parents to protect their children. Proverbs 31 eight says, speak for those who cannot speak for themselves.
Aby Rinella: These are kids. If you ever had a conversation with a teenager, you’re looking at them like, yeah, I’m pretty sure you’re not like foolishness is bound up, right? They can’t. We are to stand there on their side to defend them because we love them because we know the enemy. First Corinthians 1513 says, do not be deceived. Bad company corrupts good morals. And this is the thing is do you even know what company your kids are keeping out there? Do you even know there is no possible way that you can send your kid into a school of hundreds and know what company they’re keeping? It’s not possible. And, and I hear this a lot. Well, they have a good teacher this year, this, this year. You know, my kids, my, my kid’s teacher goes to church. Well that’s great for this year, but I want to tell you something.
Aby Rinella: I was a teacher that loved Jesus, but I couldn’t keep the lies out of those kids’ heads. I have to teach a curriculum void of God. So it’s not just not teaching them lies. It’s that you are, you are sending them into a place where they’re not getting the truth. And that’s terrifying because you think the enemy’s not going to prowl on that. This one is a big one. It’s both and it’s both in Matthew and Luke. So that’s, that’s telling you it’s in two places. Jesus said, he who is not with me is against me and he who does not gather with me scatters. So if someone is not with God, if you are sending your children into a secular school that does not preach the truth to your child, then they are against God. There is no neutral. Education is not neutral.
Aby Rinella: Schools are not neutral. If they are not for God, then they are against God. And that’s hard for some people to hear because they want to say, well they’re just doing reading and writing and arithmetic. And I say, you haven’t been there lately cause that’s not what they’re doing. And even if they are just doing reading, writing and arithmetic, if it’s not through a biblical worldview, if it is not for him, it’s against him. So our kids are too young, they’re too immature and they’re not rooted enough to stand up in those schools. They’re just not. And I want to share with you a little bit about the parent that says, but my kid is, my kid is salt and light. My kid is strong willed, my kid is solid. And I was that kid. I was the kid who knew God’s were I.
Aby Rinella: I had a passion for Jesus and a discernment for the lies and the public school. And I went there every day. And I want to tell you, because I was young, because I was immature. I stood all day long and I came home and I literally cried out to God. To take me to heaven every night. And so if you have a kid that you’re like, Oh, but my kid’s strong, well this is teaching them to stand up for their beliefs that might be, and God’s going to use that strength in them, but not when they’re a kid because they are not mature enough. I take it from me and I’d love to talk to you more every night I get home from school and I felt like I was beat down because I was too little and there was no escape. And we’re going to talk about that pretty soon about there’s no escape for these kids when you send them.
Aby Rinella: So, it’s not what we’ll get there. But I want to tell you that even if you have a strong kid, even if you have a kid that is outgoing and they’re a little evangelists, I was one and I almost didn’t make it. It was by the grace of God that I made it and I carried so much baggage with me into my life trying to handle the fact that every day was a fight for my faith as a small child. It’s not how God designed it. It’s not what God, this is not what God tells us that we should be doing with our kids. So Matthew 18 six says if anyone causes one of these little ones to stumble, better to have a millstone hung around his neck and drowned parents. If you’re sending your kid into a place every day where at very best they have to be silent.
Aby Rinella: We’re at very best. The school is silent about him, where it very best. There is no talk of God, but more likely the reality is they’re not silent. Their teaching, your kids abortion, they’re teaching your kids that life has no value. They’re teaching your kids. They can be anything they want to be. And if that means a girl or a boy or who knows what, that’s what they’re teaching your kids. And if you are not sure if that’s happening in your schools, let me assure you it is. Some schools are just louder right now, but it’s everywhere. And if you think that that’s not causing your child to stumble, you are very mistaken because that is causing your child to stumble. And I want to read this verse again. If anyone causes one of these little ones to stumble, better to have a millstone hung around his neck and drowned. And I’m not talking about the teachers causing your kids to stumble because it’s your responsibility. If you’re putting them there, that’s on you. This feels like a harsh session. I’m sorry.
Yvette Hampton: Now do bring it the word of God. You know, we don’t shy away from this stuff. This is why God’s called us to do what
Aby Rinella: We do. I am, I’m saying this parents because I’m, because I love your kids because your kids are our future because you’re worth it. And because I love you, men and women and I don’t want, I don’t want you to get to the end of the road and saying “whoops, I didn’t see that verse.” I, I didn’t see that verse. And now look where we’re at. So I want to talk about that whole, I want to talk about how God taught, tells us to flee. And, and hang with me here. God’s word is powerful. So everybody’s saying, where are the verses? Where are the verses? So get ready to get your pen. They’re going. Now I’m trying to put ’em in here as quickly as you’re saying them. Also saying, keep going. So, the second Timothy two 22 says, flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
Aby Rinella: First Corinthians 10 13 says, no temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful but will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so you can endure it a way out. Flee. first Timothy six 11 says, but you man of God, flee from all this and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. And Matthew six 13 says, lead us not into temptation. And I want to talk to you about what does this have to do with homeschool? Well as an adult I can flee immoral things. I can shut my TV off when something comes on that is, is wrong. You know, everybody’s all up in arms about the Superbowl and I said, shut it off. Like you have the, Hey, newsflash, your thumb controls are out.
Aby Rinella: Like I shut it off. I don’t know why. This is a big conversation about the Superbowl. Turn off the TV for crying out loud. Don’t support that. You can turn it off. You have that power. God says he will give you a way out. So get out. I can choose, you know, if my husband goes to work and he is surrounded by ungodly men, he can, he can move away from those conversations. I can’t tell you how many times a day people are talking about things they shouldn’t. He can walk away from that conversation. We can put the books down if I pick up a book. Oh my goodness. I have to tell you, this was not in my notes, but I have to tell you this hilarious thing. Our 93 year old grandmother, she reads because it’s pretty much all she can do at this point.
Aby Rinella: She just reads and reads and reads. And she is 93 so she’s not 100% with the program, but she heard about this top selling book called shades of gray. I think that’s great. I don’t know. I, I don’t know anything about the book that I did read. So she orders it from the library and the people deliver it cause she’s 93 so they bring her the things that her food and her and I tell you what, I just was like, she read one page and she put the book down and why did she put the book down? Because she can, but anyway, we were dying when we heard that grandma. Anyway, but here’s the thing, God has given that woman discernment. God has, she has a Holy spirit in her and he has given her the freedom to put the book down, send it back to the library, better yet burn it.
Aby Rinella: We can flee as adults, but here’s the thing, moms and dads, when you put your kids in a school from eight to three or whatever time your school, are those doors locked behind them and they can’t flee. There is no way out. And I just read you all those verses that God commands us to flee from those kinds of sins. God commands us to find a way out of temptation. Any tells us that he will give us one. But when you lock your kids in a school where they can’t shut the book, they can’t because guess what? Tomorrow there’s a test on it and I can guarantee you’re expecting them to take that test. They can’t turn off the movie. They can’t because they’re trapped. They’re locked in. You are literally locking your kids into this place with no way out. And if you’re telling me that that’s not causing them to stumble, you’re wrong.
Aby Rinella: Because Matthew 18 six tells us, do not cause them to stumble. Do not ever put your child in a place that they can’t flee from sin. Don’t do it. It’s not a part of our reality. And everybody says, go to school. They need to pre prepare for adulthood. I am sorry that is a lie. That’s not adulthood. There has never been a place in my life that I can’t walk away from sin. You know, God promises he will give us a way out. So you’re forcing your children to be surrounded by sin every single day and then you’re crying out. Why are they having such a hard time? Why is this so hard? Well, it’s because you’re doing things contrary to God’s word and, and that’s what’s to be expected. We live in a town full of snow. We have a ton of snow.
Aby Rinella: A couple years ago there was a huge snow, more so than usual. I mean, I’m talking four or five feet and I’m usually in the winter. We don’t, we have a lot of wildlife where we live, but in the winter we don’t see a lot of that wildlife because they have learned to leave. The deer migrate out of where we live. So every winter the snow comes, the deer migrate out. Then the snow, you know, the snow melts and the deer migrate back in. Well, one year one this huge snow, it was, it was bigger than most because we had a lot of snow back in the day. And then we hadn’t gotten a lot. And then we got a lot and all these deer were trapped. Like we would walk out our front door and there’s deer all over in our front yard and we’re like, ah, there’s no food here.
Aby Rinella: Guy is like, you kind of missed the boat, you should have, you should have headed out before the snow came. And I said to my husband, I’m like, why, why this year? All of these deer? And he said, well, you know fish and game is looking into that. And wildlife management. And they, they believe because we had so many dry years, that the generations above them, the deer did not teach their young. They didn’t migrate. They didn’t need to migrate out of here. They could still stay up in the Hills cause we didn’t have that much snow. So these generations were not passing down to the younger generations. Hey, we need to get outta here or we’re going to be trapped. We’re going to be trapped in this Valley. We’re going to be led to slaughter because there’s going to be no food and we’re all going to die here.
Aby Rinella: And I don’t think the deer have conversations like that. I think it’s more or subliminal, you know, they just teach them that. But the deer, the, the younger generations of deer were not being led away. They weren’t being taught by the older generations. And so they were being led to their slaughter. And I couldn’t help but think of that with my children is if we parents are not teaching our children every day how to flee, how to, how to, to be in God’s word, how to be in God’s will, where God wants us, how God, if we’re not teaching them then indefinitely and then, and then inevitably you are leading your children to slaughter. You are leading your children to slaughter. If you are not teaching them God’s way we have to be passing this down. It doesn’t just happen. It doesn’t just happen.
Aby Rinella: We are to teach and train them over and over there. These are action words that God gives us. Teach them, train them, show them. It doesn’t just happen. So why, why homeschool moms and dads? It’s not because they’re going to get a better education. They will, they will. It’s not because you’re going to build these great sibling relationships, which you will that that will naturally happen. Because anytime we do things God’s way, anytime we are in God’s will benefits happen. We seek first the kingdom of God and all those other things are going to be handed to you. All those other things that we’ve been talking about all week, those will naturally happen. But you’ve got to seek first the kingdom of God. Your why for homeschooling your children must be out of obedience to God. He created them, he created you and he gave you a handbook to do it.
Aby Rinella: And if you don’t follow the handbook, you’re going to have a mess. So, when we build our life and our, and make our why his word, then when the hard at times come because mom has, I’m telling you they will. I’m not telling you that, Hey, you know, obey God’s word and then you know, every day it’s going to be joy and laughter and rainbows. It’s going to be incredible. It’s not, it’s hard. It is hard and it is blood, sweat and tears. But I am telling you that’s kind of the walk of walking with Christ. It’s not supposed to be in a, where does he tell me? I’ve looked you guys, I have looked Genesis to revelation for where it says it’s going to be easy. It doesn’t, it’s not in there. It’s going to be hard, but I will promise you at the end of the day, it’s going to be worth it.
Aby Rinella: It’s going to be worth it. And on the days where you’re not seeing it, where you’re like, all that stuff Abby talked about, I’m not seeing it. My kids are not walking with God right now. Everything’s falling apart. Don’t grow weary in doing good because when the time comes, the harvest will like it. It will come. Stick it out. Don’t give up. It’ll help you get through the daily temper tantrums. It’ll help you get through the daily grind. It’ll help you get through the one more meal when you know that this is unto God, you are doing this unto God. You’re not doing it for your kids. You’re not doing it for your husband. You’re not doing it because you like it or don’t like it. You’re doing it because the King of Kings, the creator of the universe, the Lord of Lords, the one that died for you is calling you to do this.
Aby Rinella: And he’s going to give you everything you need to do it. And he might not give you everything you need right this second. But he will give you this second what you need this second. I want to read last verse, the one last verses. It’s Luke sex. Yeah. It says everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them. So, so guys, your life should be changed right now cause you just heard God’s words. You heard God’s words right this last hour, this last 50 minutes, you have heard God’s word. So everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them. So that’s the key. Now we have to do this thing. I will show you what he is like. He has like a man building a house who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood Rose, do you get that?
Aby Rinella: When not if, but when a flood Rose, the stream broke against that house and it could not shake it because it had been well-built. But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who builds a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell. And the ruin of the house was great. So moms and dads, let’s make sure that we’re building our why on a foundation, which is God’s word. So that when, when the flood comes and hits us, that we will stand, that our children will stand, that they will be protected and then we can enjoy all the other blessings that come with it.
Yvette Hampton: Yes. Oh, a man Abinella, God is using you sister. And amazing. I mean, it’s God’s word. It’s God’s word. I know, I know. It’s incredible. And I would love, I’m loving seeing your comments come up on this. I would love to know it. And you know, we’re, we’re talking about the why. What is your why for homeschooling and comment on this and, and if your why has just changed in the last 45 minutes, tell us what is your, why. If someone were to ask you today, why do you homeschool? Because I’m telling you our why has changed. When we first started homeschooling, we were running from something we were running from [inaudible] and it was more actually have a physical protection. At the time when we were in Los Angeles, the school district was terrible. This goal our daughter would have gone to, was not good, couldn’t afford private school at the time.
Yvette Hampton: And so, we’re like, Oh, I guess we’ll do this homeschool thing. This is really weird and I don’t have a minivan. And it just seemed so odd and our why has drastically changed over the years. And this is our why now. It is all about the discipleship of our children and training their hearts and righteousness because we only have our kids for a few years. I mean I, those of you who have grown kids, you know how quickly it goes. My oldest is 14 right now and I cannot believe that she’s already 14 that we only have another four years up so many hours. I know. I can’t. I can honestly sometimes I’m like, yeah, well, you know, I can imagine that. And, and I want to say sometimes we need breaks as moms and that is important.
Aby Rinella: Sorry, but that doesn’t mean you send them in to, to a place that they’re going to be destroyed for crying out loud. You can have a break and still protect your children.
Yvette Hampton: Yes, absolutely. And, and it’s okay to need to take a break. We all need that. And your kids need a break from you sometimes, you know? You talked early about, about enjoying being with your kids. You know, I love being with my kids and we talked about this. I wanted the other sessions. I don’t remember which one, but that oftentimes people will say, why I couldn’t stand to be around my kids all day. Well that’s likely because you’re not the one training them. You’re not the one discipling them. You’re allowing someone else to raise your children and then you’re expecting them to come home and behave the way that you want them to behave, right? Well, if you’re not going to
Aby Rinella: Building a foundation and then they’re bringing that foundation into your home and it doesn’t fit with your life because your life is built on God’s word, right? They’re building a foundation that isn’t and no wonder you can’t stand to be around your children,
Yvette Hampton: Right? Right. And that’s, that is not God’s plan for your family. I want to read another verse to you. This is actually a, it’s Joshua 22 verses five. It’s verse five. And it says only B. And this is Joshua reminding the Israelites of the words of Moses. But I love the way that it’s written in this chapter, and it says, only be very careful to observe the commandment in the law. That Moses, the servant of the Lord commanded you to love the Lord your God, and to walk in all his ways and to keep his commandments and declaring to him and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul. You guys, that is the whole purpose of life is to serve the Lord and to love him and to cling to him. And how can our kids learn to do that when for 16,000 hours we’re putting them in an institution that is like you said, Abby, teaching them everything that is contrary to the word of God. Absolutely. It’s unfair.
Aby Rinella: And then we act shocked when we look around our culture and see what’s going on. And honestly, I mean to hit on something, it’s like, why are we so surprised that kids are shooting each other for crying out loud? Look what is happening around you. It’s not. It’s really not a shocker when you do anything us away from God’s way. What do you expect to happen? It’s not going to work. I don’t care how pretty you package it. It’s not going to work. And like he that said, we have to teach and train this to our children. It’s like the deer. If they are literally led to their slaughter because nobody showed them the way out. Nobody taught them how to get out. Everybody got lazy. Hey, no, snows come. And we’re lazy. We don’t have to worry about it. It’s not going to affect us.
Aby Rinella: And pretty soon they’re dead everywhere because nobody taught them the way. And, and I, I’ve gotten this question a lot that says, okay, and I think we’ve kind of hit this, but I mean, another analogy, when people say, okay, I get that we need to teach it. We’re going to come bring our kids home at the end of the day, we’re going to debunk every, we’re going to, we’re going to go through this. And I was talking to someone the other day and I said, you know what? It’s like it’s like sunblock. It’s like if I’m outside all day, every day, seven days a week, right? And I don’t put sunblock on and then at four o’clock I’m like, “Oh shoot, I’ve got to get some sunblock on. “It’s four o’clock and I put sunblock on for the last hour of my day. That is not going to negate the effects that the sun had on me all day long.
Aby Rinella: My, my skin is still going to be tanned. I’m still going to carry everything I did all day long. Yeah, I’ve got sunblock from four to five and all day Sunday or maybe a half a day Sunday when I was at church, but it’s the same way with our kids. We will still carry that chant. When you look at me, you will still see tan. It will be in me. It’s not something I can get rid of. It’s going to be a part of what billed me and made me, my skin will be tan from being in the sun and one hour of sunscreen isn’t going to change that. At the end of the day, it’s like that with your kids. It will be interwoven into the foundation of who your children are. When they are grown, they will be like their teacher and I’m not talking miss Sue in third grade, I’m talking the teacher, the system that is teaching your children overarching sister system, so I don’t care if Ms. Sue’s a Christian and you know, you know her values and morals. She not the teacher behind what your kids are getting. She’s just the mouthpiece. Teaching them what she’s been taught to teach at the end of the day it is going to be interwoven into their core being what they are learning all day and you’re one hour at the end of the day if that and your couple hours on Sunday, you can’t undo it, you can add to it and now they have a double foundation and their tan with a little bit of sunscreen on. But that’s not what God’s called us to.
Yvette Hampton: Yup. Yup. That’s exactly right. Okay. Hold on. I’m looking for questions cause I see that you guys are popping them up. And if you have more questions, please put them in here. We would love to answer them. So okay. The first one says, what is a good discipleship plan for teenagers 13 to 17, even with homeschooling them their whole lives? Sometimes I worry that there are gaps in their understanding of the gospel. We do a good we do go to a weekly homeschool community once a week. Let me first say that the word of God does not return void. If you are pouring God’s word into your children and you are teaching them every subject from a biblical worldview there they are going to come to understand scripture. However, yes, there are resources apart from God’s word and, and we’ve talked a ton about this this week.
Yvette Hampton: Don’t separate the Bible as a single subject and then do all of your other subjects. We, you, what you have to understand is that everything that you’re teaching them should point them to Christ. You know, science should be taught from a biblical worldview because, and science especially, I look at that and I think science is all about creation. Every bit of science is about creation, whether it’s the human body or the solar system or whatever it is. Ecology, it’s all about creation and God as creator. And so when our kids understand science from a biblical worldview, they will better understand their creator. And there are many, many good options for curriculum that is taught from a biblical worldview. History is the same way. When you teach history as Genesis one, one in the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Then you’re beginning history from a biblical perspective and you teach them how God, you know, the God’s plan for mankind and the mistakes that we’ve made and how that has affected mankind.
Yvette Hampton: I mean that, that is teaching from a biblical worldview, English, grammar, everything. Even math. You can teach these things. Math is one. God is a God of order, not chaos. And he is a God of absolutes. Two plus two will always equal four. It is never going to equal 12, never ever, ever. No matter how hard we try. A man is a man, a woman is a woman. That is an absolute fact. And so just like math is absolute, God’s word is absolute. And so, when we teach things from a biblical perspective that helps in regards to a discipleship plan other than teaching from a biblical worldview and, and just reading scripture with your kids, worshiping with them, praying with them. There are a ton of resources. I am the one that keeps coming to my mind right now is at Kim [inaudible] who is she’s the author of not consumed.
Yvette Hampton: That’s a blog. She has some fantastic resources for teenagers and, and pointing your kids towards Christ. So I would definitely check her out. I think she’s in the vendor hall as well. So, I think you could probably just link to it but notconsumed.com is her website. She was actually on the panel what date? I think Tuesday. Am I right? She was at, she was part of one of the round table panels, I think it was on Tuesday. And she has some fantastic resources. We will try to put together some other resources if we have a chance. But, but for those of you who are watching, if you have some good resources that you’ve used for your teenagers, please pop them in here. And, and give some suggestions for those things as well. So, Abby,
Aby Rinella: Can you read that again because I’d like to add that
Yvette Hampton: The question. Yeah. Yeah. It says what is a good discipleship plan for teenagers 13 to 17, even with homeschooling them their whole lives? Sometimes I worry that there are gaps in their understanding of the gospel. Okay. We do a great, we do go to a weekly homeschool community once a week.
Aby Rinella: Okay. So I do want to share too that your job is not, I mean, there’s going to be gaps because our journey with Christ, our, our walk with God is constantly growing. It’s, you’re not going to graduate a kid at 18, and they’re going to have everything in their walk, figure it out. Your, your, your job as a parent is to build a foundation, to teach them to go to God’s word and to pray and to see what God’s where. I think we’ve lost that in the church. We, we’ve lost the teaching of going to God’s word. Did you know that everything you need for life and godliness is in there. He tells us everything you need is in there. So I’m sorry. I think we have this thought of I need to have my kids at the end of their walk, at the end of their journey.
Aby Rinella: By the time they leave my house. And I look at my walk now and I’ve, I’ve been a Christian for many, many years and I think from where I am now and where I was even 10 years ago, the Lord has brought me a very long way. So if you are teaching your kids God’s word and you are praying for and with your kids and you’re teaching them how to go to God’s word, then any gap that there is, God’s going to work through that with them and they’re going to work that out. They’re going to constantly be growing in the Lord. If anybody can say, Oh yep, at 18 when I left the house, I got it all figured out. That’s not how it works. That’s not how it works for anybody in the Bible. That’s not how it works. So, so take rest mom, that that you’re doing the job.
Aby Rinella: Here’s the deal. Your job is what God has called you to do. His job is to work out the rest with your child. Your, you’re not going to give your kids salvation. That’s between the Holy spirit and your child. That’s between the Lord and your child. Your job is to be faithful to the calling God has given you, which is teach and train up your children. So, so take a breath, do what God has called you to do and trust that he will fill in the gaps, that he will fill in the gaps, that he will do what you can’t. Yes. Amen. There’s a great book called already gone and it’s written by Ken ham from answers in Genesis. It’s a book that I would highly recommend. As a matter of fact, I think there’s a video as well that I’ve never seen the video, but I’ve read the book.
Aby Rinella: And the whole premise of the book is really why are kids walking away from their faith today from the church? And, and it’s what it comes down to is that kids don’t have a solid foundation. They don’t know what they believe or why they believe it. And so, you know, in our short 18 years of having our kids, it is our job to teach them truth and to teach them, you know, why, why we believe what we believe. And if you don’t know mom and dad, what you believe, read God’s word, surround yourselves with godly men and women who will teach you. Because you can’t teach your kids what you don’t know. And, and if you don’t know it, learn it together. Read God’s word together and study it and learn it together. And God will use that. Don’t feel like you need to have every answer and you need to, there are so much about the Bible that I don’t understand and I mean, I’m never going to stop learning, but that’s part of the whole purpose of homeschooling too, is to teach your kids how to learn, right?
Aby Rinella: So, when they go out of your home, they will know how to learn. Someone commented here and said, I’d recommend focus on the family’s truth project. Yes, we have. Our family has gone through that. That is a fantastic program that, that kids, and I would say probably for middle school and high school, like she said is a great time to go through that with your kids. But it really does help to set the foundation of why you believe what you believe. So that they can hold onto that so that your kids see you. Cause we don’t know everything. Shocker. The older I get, the more I realize that I don’t know everything someone commented, 18-year-olds think they do. Yeah, I totally thought I did. But as, as our kids see us go through things, are they seeing us go to God’s word or are they seeing us go to a million other places? And if your kids are watching you go to God’s word for everything you do, they are going to naturally learn that that’s where they should go when they question yes. A sample.
Yvette Hampton: Yup. Be an example. Read your, read your Bible. You know, I try to do my Bible reading before my girls get up at, sometimes they’ll get up when I’m still reading and I’ll just bring them alongside of me and they’ll sit and they’ll, you know, read with me. Sometimes I’ll just sit quietly. Sometimes I’ll read out loud to them. Let your and don’t, don’t do it. You know where you’re like, look at me kids. I’m reading my Bible. But talk about it part of your life. Let them yes, yes. What you’re doing well and, and talk about it with them all the time. You know, Deuteronomy six, you know, when you just, when you’re living your life every day, find ways to bring God’s word into just your everyday conversation. And sometimes it takes practice to do that, but if you’re intentional about it, you can find ways to do that. There’s two things I would recommend. One is Ginger Hubbard’s Wise Words for Moms. That is a great tool for discipline. But there’s another thing that I haven’t, and Garrett, if you’re listening, maybe one of the girls can bring this in to me really quickly. It’s called the child training Bible. I don’t know if I’ve ever talked to you about this, Abby, but it’s fantastic. It’s a Bible that has a bunch of
Aby Rinella: Tab. Yes. Okay. We have one of those and there’s, there’s the child training one and then there’s also one for adults and it’s, we use that I use that day in our home. It’s brilliant. It takes a lot of work to do it, but it’s one of the greatest Bible studies for a parent to do. I when we built that, why don’t you have to build it yourself? It’s so educational and get you in the God’s word. Right. So basically the link to that.
Yvette Hampton: I will, I will link to that somehow. But it, it is a fantastic resource. Yes, it’s wonderful. Lacey headed out yesterday and I’m not sure where it is. Anyway, it goes through just different virtues and characteristics and stuff and, and then it’s you tab your Bible and highlight different verses in your Bible so you can go directly to that. So good thing. I know that sounds ridiculous. It’s hard to understand
Aby Rinella: When, when a kid is lying you, you, you [inaudible] you go to the lying tab and it has all the verses online tabbed and highlighted in a specific color so that you’re not scrounging going, don’t lie because I’m pretty sure God tells us that we shouldn’t lie. Like you’re actually taking them to the word and it has it all laid out for you.
Yvette Hampton: Right, right. Yes. One of the questions here. Sherry’s asking, what do you say to parents who have their kids in Christian school? Do you, I haven’t answered for that, but Abby, I’ll let you take that one. Yeah,
Aby Rinella: I, I’ll let you answer that. I think, you know, I’m going to let you go ahead and answer it. You were, you grew up in a Christian school, right? I did grow up in a Christian. Really believe here’s the deal. The best, the, the best design, the way God designed it is for a parent to teach and train their children. Am I asked Christian schools? No, I taught in a Christian school, but you know what? People were still dropping their children off to me to teach. And that’s not really God’s best design. It’s a parent’s responsibility. The other thing I think you need to be careful about Christian schools as, so my husband went to a Christian school and he, and he also, he was homeschooled for a while. He was public school for a while. It was Christian school for a while. And he said, and just be careful, he said, the Christian school, w he had far worse influences in the Christian school than the public because so many parents dropped their kids off to be reformed.
Aby Rinella: There’s so many kids drop their parents off because their kids were struggling. They were naughty kids. So the parents drop, well, all kids are naughty kids, but you know what I mean? They were really struggling kids. Yes. So the parents would dump them off there to have someone else teach and train them and God’s way. And so he said it was not a good setting for him. And I know not every Christian school is that way, but really the question is when we go to God’s word, I just want to point you back when we go to God’s word, who does God tell you to train your children and just ask yourself that. You guys can ask me a lot of questions. I’m going to point you back to God’s word because, and you can do that. You can say, what does God’s word say? Who is supposed to be teaching and training my children? I don’t read that. It said it’s a Christian school. I read that it says that it’s a parent’s job. Right? That’s right.
Yvette Hampton: Well that’s basically, yeah, that’s basically my exact answer. Again, I grew up in a really good Christian school. I loved the school that I grew up in. I had teachers who really poured into my life and into my heart and, and much of who I am today as a Christian is because of them. However the, the influences of some of the other people that I went to school with were not so positive. And I see Christian school much like a parent who is not taking seriously their role to disciple their children, but sending them to youth group. Thank you honey. Sending them to youth group on Wednesday night and Sunday morning, Sunday school and just saying, okay, I’m, our kids are good. They’ve got their Bible training and their Christian aid training and we don’t have to do anything about that. It’s all taken care of and I’m paying a lot of money to have someone else do that for me. My job, I mean, I’m sorry. And it’s your job. Sure. And let me just say, I don’t say it to shame anybody because I know that there are circumstances where, you know, I mean I mom is going through something, you know, may maybe, well I know a lot of single moms homeschool and that’s a different topic, but maybe mom has to work full time and
Aby Rinella: Dad says, no, this isn’t happening. You will not homeschool. And she is honoring God by honoring her husband. And there are a lot of women like that. And you know what? Yes, I want to tell you the girls something. If that’s your case, God will bless your obedience to him. God will, God will protect your children in a way that is different because you are being obedient to God by honoring her husband. So we’re not saying that your RA, I mean everybody has different circumstances. You know, everybody has. And if you have to put your kids somewhere, I would say do it in a Christian school over a little. Of course that’s a better choice. So everybody has different circles.
Yvette Hampton: Yes. Yep. And that’s exactly the thing is, is if you have to put them in school, you cannot homeschool them for some reason. If you have to put them in school, put them in a Christian school, by all means I would. I would literally, and I’m going on record saying this, I would keep my kids out of school and never ever educate them before putting them in a public school. I would not put my kids because they’re being indoctrinated and educated in a way that is completely contrary to the word of God. And I would never put my kids in a public school as long as the Lord allows us to homeschool them, we will always come educate our children. Right?
Aby Rinella: Thinking how many comments are coming in from people whose kids are either public Christian school or have been to Christian school and they’re confirming everything we’re saying it’s ugly. It’s not, I mean, read the comments from people that were there and yeah,
Yvette Hampton: Right. I went to a, I went to both. Well, I grew up in private schools, but I went to a Catholic school one year and I remember the, I was only there one year and I told my parents, it’s like paint a lot of money to go to a really bad public school because it was really the school that all the rich kids went to. And they actually had more money to do the drugs and to party and to do all of the other things. So, and that’s not every Christian school. And so I’m not 100% down on Christian schools. I’m just saying I, like Abby said, I think the best option is for you to have your kids at home and to homeschool them because God has called you as their parent to be their teacher and to be their authority and to teach them the morals and values and, and so anyway, we’ll leave that one cause I know that there’s other questions really quick.
Yvette Hampton: Oh yeah, go ahead. So this is the child training Bible. We’ll try to put a link to it. So inside here, here’s tabs at the top and insight. It’s hard to get this all in here. It has all of these different things. So anger, complaining, defiance, and there’s one called the virtue training Bible as well. So you make this yourself, you kind of buy the kit and the Bible and then you put it together, which is fantastic, but you would go to fighting and you would click on the article, not click, you would go to the first pink tab and then you have it. Let’s see where is it highlighted somewhere is a verse. So the one in pink would be a verse on fighting and that one says turn away from evil and do good. Seek peace and pursue it. And so she has set up all of these verses already for you and then you tab it on the top, the bottom and the side. And you can, it’s a very quick way to grab scripture on all these different things. So anyway, that’s enough about that
Aby Rinella: To make but let me just give you a hint. It’s a really great thing to do with your kids. Like for maybe Bible time, you know, look up the verses with them so you can work it into your day to get the word into your kid. It’s not like you have to stay up at midnight to build this because it does take a little while. Do what with your kids. Set aside a day if they were looking up the verses and fighting and everybody gets out. And so it’s a really opportunity. I also want to go back cause we talked a little bit about, we’re not shaming at this. Everybody’s walk is a journey and I just want to tell you so you know where I come from. I was a public school teacher and I will never forget sitting in my mother-in-law’s kitchen.
Aby Rinella: This was before my husband and I were married. I was just the little girlfriend and I was in college being trained to be an indoctrinate her. And I remember she was so pro homeschool and I sat there and I was like, cause I come from a family of educators indoctrinated and I said to her homeschooling is so weird and it’s so bad and it’s so not good for kids. And I literally had this conversation. So we’re not say every, if you’re listening to this going, I’ve messed it up. I thought this was okay. I thought I was doing the best thing. It’s not too late. God changes hearts and God takes you from where you’re at and he’s going to take you to where he wants you. So that’s my praise God. He got ahold of me before my kids got into school.
Yvette Hampton: Yeah. Yes, I agree. And I mean, like I, you know, I’m seeing one of the comments that says I’m feeling guilty for letting my first child go to public school through sixth grade. Please don’t do that. We’re, we are not here to condemn you and to convict you of that. If you’re just now realizing, okay, wow, this homeschool thing, yes, we should be doing this. Let me say again first. Go to your first go to the Lord next. If you feel like God’s calling you to do this, go to your husband is right. That’s right. And go to your husband and talk to your husband about it. And if your husband is not in agreement with it, then you just pray that the Lord would change his heart. But do not let homeschooling build a wall between you and your husband. Your marriage comes first, and your relationship with your husband comes before pulling your kids out of school.
Yvette Hampton: So and so. And please don’t feel guilty. You know, God, God is so sovereign and powerful and he uses things like putting our kids in public schools sometimes to teach us the lessons that he wants to teach us and to teach our kids. And so it’s okay. It’s not too late to go back and, and, and just start over. You know, just reset. So, we’re going to do one more question because we are just about out of time and we’ve got to get onto our butt. But we have a panel this afternoon and so we will try to get to some of these questions this afternoon as well. And we’re going to have Sam Sorbo on with us who, if you’ve ever had Sam heard Sam speak, she is a firecracker, so she’ll be glad to answer some of your questions as well as our other panel members.
Aby Rinella: And I will go through these this afternoon.
Yvette Hampton: Well that’s the one I was just going to read. Really. We’ll have to do this one quickly, but she says, how can you engage with other Christian families who disagree? They either don’t know that don’t know why that’s being pushed on the student or they think that their child will be okay. One minute, Abby.
Aby Rinella: Great. That wasn’t the one I was going to share the session one, take them to God’s word because here’s the thing is when you give our opinions, it can cause division amongst people because they think it’s your opinion versus theirs. When we speak God’s word, we’re just speaking God’s word that falls on the Lord. So if you share verses with them and, and speak the truth in love, be humble. I think that’s what I have to say is, is really be humble and speak the truth in love, but take them to God’s word because it’s kind of like when you’re a wife and your husband says something you can kind of default back on. Well, that’s what dad said, like I’m off to take him to God’s word. This is what God says. This isn’t me. I’m not preaching this gospel. I’m just living the living according to God’s word.
Aby Rinella: So, this is what God’s word say. And also don’t be afraid because sometimes people want, I mean, she wants to hear it. If they’re opening up these conversations, sometimes we’re so afraid we’re going to offend someone, but when we actually speak it, like that day at the park, I told you when they’re like, we’re going to put our kids in middle school to expose them. When I point took them back to God’s word, it was like the light bulb went on. And rather than be upset with me, they were thankful. They were thankful that I would speak truth to them. So speak the truth and God in love and then, and then leave it at the Lord’s feet and pray for them. Yes.
Yvette Hampton: Just commit, commit to praying for, for your friends. So I wish we could just talk all day long about this. This is so good. And you guys thank you for your comment and your encouragement. Sometimes it’s hard to say the thing that’s hard to say because you know that it’s, it’s convicting. I will say with this session we’ll make this session just available even outside of the homegrown generation family expo because w this message needs to be out there. So we’ll make it available somehow so that you guys can share. Cause I’ve seen some comments saying, Oh my friend needs to hear this or my family member needs to hear this. Well we’ll just make this one available for free so you guys can just share it wherever and with whomever you choose to share it with and, and Abby and I’ll be glad to take the heat for it. You can let people get mad at us.
Aby Rinella: I’m not getting them to me. They can come
Yvette Hampton: Send them, send them to Abby and she’s going to send them to God’s word. So and so ally, but you guys thank you for joining us for this. We are going to be back in just a few minutes with Jeannie Fulbright. Many of you are familiar with her and she’s going to be talking about seven essential tools for developing self-motivated children. I think we can all use that. So keep the questions coming. We will be back with Abby, Sam Sorbo, Christy Clover and James Godfrey this afternoon for another round table session, our last one of the week. And so we will try to get to the rest of your questions during that session. And we’ll do our best to do that. So we’d love you guys.
Aby Rinella: Thank you. [inaudible] Questions to us outside of this, if we don’t get to him, come find us.
Yvette Hampton: Yeah, we’re, we’re both on Facebook too, so you can message us that way, but thank you guys so much. Thank you, Abby. All right, bye.